Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to "try my nuts." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee." I'm the only woman working there. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, I noticed a customer looking for expired products in hopes of receiving a coupon from my store. I told them to let me know if they found anything. They promptly began following me around, telling me how to do my job, only to later file a complaint saying that I was harassing them. FML
Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Ah, retail. The other prostitution.
effthis 0
i would like to try your nuts.....
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Comments (133)
freakaroo 0
....i would abuse that opportunity to the fullest.
KingkongLD 0
Oh yes,pls!
kepasaurous 0
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE MY NUTS
persephone13 0
I was just going to write that--YES! I'm glad someone else thought the same thing. "Would you like to try my nuts?" "Why, yes! Now I can try out my new SlapChop and stop having a boring life!" Ahh...lame.
DynamiteDice 0
in the words of vince: YOURE GONNA LOVE MY NUTS!
decibel_beads 0
The only way this could be an FML is if you have to use those words exactly.
TheTragicReturn 0
Exactly. The OP is playing the victim. >_>
cocky 0
Holy shit, Vince posted a FML! Slap Chop, you're gonna love my nuts!!
dnb23 0
Damn, I missed getting the vince joke in by like 5 people. Regardless, this isn't an FML--it's ridiculously awesome because you can say this to customers without getting fired. Tell them to stop sucking on boring nuts and stop having a boring life. Sorry, couldn't help it.
AAADDD 0
Haha Sheeet dats fuunnyz cuz nuts also means testicularz! Shuckama! Dats a knee slapper!! Hahaha nuts jokes are always funny, no matter the circumstances. Kinda reminds me of when my friend who worked at DQ had to say "our nuts may have come in contact with your product in preperation." hahahah
Sharrakor 0
If you've got a real bitch of a customer, just look them in the eye and smirk when you say it.
DrMorbid 0
I want to try your nuts.
lightningthunder 0
Lolz