Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML
Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
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Top comments
L3Paparazzo 7
its okay not to look like a Oompa Loompa :P
artc91 0
Wow, i really can't figure out why that matters.
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Comments (195)
deefan101 11
who doesn't want a spray tan!!!? YDI
odexy 12
Me.
SteelCladAngel 0
I don't spray tan...
1215116a 14
Spray tans are gross and weird. So I don't either.
KLern 0
I'm with you girl, everyone is such a hater... come one people, different strokes for different folks.
equin0xx 6
If you use spray tanner you might as well dye your hair green too and get it over with...
FireSphinx 5
so either you go blazing like a full moon or dark like burnt orange peels ... or wear a paper bag over your head , there's always the paper bag
nikesonmyfeet_fml 5
the paper bags for later
eenkoekje 4
was your cousin snooki? oh wait, shes too much of a ho to get married :/
AcidRaen 4
pale is the new tan lol. i'm pale and i don't really tan when i'm out in the sun. i just freckle because i'm Irish haha and i love it (:
642_fml 0
Hs
rhysfucker 24
**** that. I would tell mom that u r in the wedding because they love / value u... not how u look. seriously... how shallow of a comment was that???
supergrr 0
Hah don't worrie spray tans are so over rated. What am I saying nevermind
sheethapins 13
At least you won't look like bacon of disrespect.
usnwife 18
I totally read bacon in the fml the first time and had to go back and look at it again! then I felt dumb... :) *wanders to the fridge to cook some bacon*
HollyDolly660 8
I'm sorry, but LOL. Beacon of disrespect...
MissFukMyLuck 0
I would chose to save money, not buy crap that increases the market for dumb young females, and probably not give a shit what any one else thinks. common! be original!!