Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML
Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML
Today, I was rushing to get on the train to work as I heard the "door closing" beeps. I was about to step onto the train when a man pushed me out of the way so that he could get on. My handbag fell out of my hand into the carriage. I stayed on the platform. FML
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Top comments
Benmantha 31
'Subway in Shanghai' sounds like an awesome band, with many band members.
Greattitan2 13
Aunt Jemima has no time for your shit!
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Comments (45)
gosh_mate 30
As somebody who hates being in crowds, this sounds terrible. Sorry OP!
laden_swallow09 35
You're going to have to get used to it if you want to survive in the coming decades.
Oppression_fml 19
You rack disciprine!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Apart from being racist, you're not even an educated racist. The Chinese typically don't have any problems with mixing up L and R, that's more likely to happen with the Japanese.
MatsumotoMania 13
It's a South Park reference.
samlovesham1234 9
Nuh-uh I don't rack disaprine!!
Krwman 8
Something to contemplate-- Do you think that excessive crowding leads to cordiality or cannibalism??
worldclassrager 41
Just a bit full...you should have pulled a rosa parks
KawaiiPinkie 11
I'm in Beijing for the time being. This is one of the many reasons to why I can barely wait to go back home. Another is that we were in the zoo the other day. They were taking more pictures of us than the animals they had payed to see.
chilsden 9
Welcome to Shanghai. Go to work later...
Liu1992 14
An American, an Indian and a Chinese man got into a bar fight.The American made a call, and there came 3 cars with 15 strong men in them. The Indian made a call and there came 3 motobikes with 50 men on them. The Chinese man made a call and 3 buses came, which took the men in them 3 hours to get out of. Wanna see Chinese buses or subways? Open a sardine tin.
gelato_fml 2
Line 2? Were you trying to change trains at Guanglan Road station?
toriamorales 5
Didn't mean to put "you deserved it". Sorry. .-.
xSteelLegend 7
Time to lose some weight OP. lol.
KawaiiPinkie 11
If you want to survive China, the best thing would be to be the size of a toothpick cx
NandersTheFox 22
No, you would be snapped by all the people