Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
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Top comments
RJB 0
Then tell them to go to the Nurse, who obviously can touch students anywhere the nurse sees fit,
RufusCade 7
"Hello, Mrs Doe! This is the principal at John's school. We had to cut his pants again since he couldn't unzip them himself..." "/.../" "No, you are well aware of that we are allowed to touch the children's hips, but not the behind or front." "/.../" "Yes, we used scissors." "/.../" "No, we didn't hurt him with the scissors as we accidentally did the last time." "/.../" "If you say so, Mrs. Doe, we can let him spend the day in his peed pants, but I want that in writing from you and your husband." I really think that the fear of pedophiles has taken monstrouous proportions. Why not tdress the kids up in Burqa to protect them from peeping?
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Comments (117)
Unsaturatedfatty 0
This makes me angry. I understand people needing to feel like they're protecting their kids from pedophiles, but a pedo is going to unzip your kids pants whether or not it's against the law, and in the meantime these poor kidlettes and teachers have to pay for a parents' false sense of security. Retarded.
Peroxide 3
lol "teacher touched my forbidden zone". That you Ralph Wiggum??
CallMeHush 1
Another one of Prof Wiggum's indian braves.
usagicookies 1
That's awful, but there is a way to solve this problem without resorting to being embarrassing and unsanitary. The trick to this is to get other staff members- especially supervisors to watch if you can find one in time (oh lord that sounds wrong). That way they can back you up if you need witnesses to say you were helping the kid.
dudeitsdanny 10
They'll say one was raping, one was watching.
blastvortex 4
You can't really help it. It's the district's fault, not yours. Now send him to the nurse or call his parents or something. If they bitch about it, blame it on them because unless they oppose the legislation, it's as much their fault as it could be anybody else's that supports it.
boatkicker 5
OP that really sucks. Try an oppose the laws, get the parents involved. This is getting ridiculous. Laws like this DON'T stop the people that were doing harm, and are only causing problems for those who have good intentions. It's situations like this, where you had no options, that really make me angry. This is going to be the hardest part of being a teacher, I expect. I think I'll be able to deal with crazy parents, and I already have had situations where I've had to deal with a lot of different kids and teach them. But stupid laws? I have no idea how I'll deal with that. Sorry that you were put into this situation. :(
Punkartmama 0
Yet another reason not to send my kid to public school. All these stupid rules to protect the admin. and not really help the kids.
iwadasn 33
Um, I don't think the teachers at private schools are allowed to touch kids there, either...
condge613 0
Lol well you haven't heard about the catholics...the priests really like their altar boys.
CallMeHush 1
I was expecting to read that the poor little guy had his junk caught in his zipper and you left him that way. Next time you should lend him a hand or have mom send him to school in sweatpants.
iwadasn 33
She couldn't lend him a hand without losing her job. That's the whole point of the FML.
buddas_angel 0
Unfortunately it is because of parents that over react that these laws become created. Mom: "What did you do in school today?" Little Johnny: "Miss Sally unzipped my pants." Mom: "What!! Oh hell no!" Then mom calls the school and there is an investigation and before everything gets sorted out, the teacher goes through hell trying to prove that she is not a pedophile. And even if it is proven that she did nothing wrong, she most likely still have other parents and staff watching her because they want to be sure. It's sad. These days we send our children out to spend sometimes 8-10 hours a day in other peoples care. And we expect them to treat these children as their own yet they are not allowed to provide the most basic care that our children need. OP FYL indeed.
cthulhu1138 1
The administration would much prefer that a few kids wet themselves than a lawsuit from crazed parents. I am inclined to agree with their perspective. Stupid policies aren't just the result of administration. You can bet that behind almost every stupid policy is an even dumber story involving parents, kids, and teachers.
catatonicsleep 17
There's somewhere in England that's just banned parents from going in the play park with their kids, what are they supposed to do if a kid gets hurt? they can't go in and help them. And there's also this rule now that you're not allowed to take pictures of your own kids/grandkids etc because other children are around
boatkicker 5
Thats crazy! REALLY ridiculously crazy.