Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
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Top comments
RJB 0
Then tell them to go to the Nurse, who obviously can touch students anywhere the nurse sees fit,
RufusCade 7
"Hello, Mrs Doe! This is the principal at John's school. We had to cut his pants again since he couldn't unzip them himself..." "/.../" "No, you are well aware of that we are allowed to touch the children's hips, but not the behind or front." "/.../" "Yes, we used scissors." "/.../" "No, we didn't hurt him with the scissors as we accidentally did the last time." "/.../" "If you say so, Mrs. Doe, we can let him spend the day in his peed pants, but I want that in writing from you and your husband." I really think that the fear of pedophiles has taken monstrouous proportions. Why not tdress the kids up in Burqa to protect them from peeping?
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Comments (117)
LilaBear 2
mothers do not campaign for these laws. The schools do, to protect themselves, because SOME idiot parents (not just mothers) decide to sue left right and centre.
Erindub 0
Wow you can't even help a kid off with his pants in an emergency!? Back when I was his age the teacher was allowed to spank us.
mystic_lily 3
i agree with other posters who say couldn't you call the parents and then have someone else in the room as a witness? I understand the kid may not have been able to hold it that long, but at least you could have tried. Or does district policy prohibit it even in cases like that? I agree though FYL for not being able to help the little guy.
MissSparkie 0
guess no one has ever had a zipper jam on them. this is a tricky one though, society has gone that up the shit that this is an all too common scenario.....kids need help with someone but fear prevents an adult from helping but with good reason. Me personally I would have tried to help in some way or quickly found a male teacher to help.
invisigoth 0
#1, not even a (school) nurse would be allowed to touch a child's privates. It seems like most of the other posters think these kinds of rules are in place because school districts want to protect themselves from the litigation of oversensitive (or as one person put it, "money hungry") parents. But in my experience when an adult touches a child between the legs in school, it's not because they were helping with a difficult zipper. Unfortunately the only people these sorts of policies don't actually discourage are the sexual predators, who just make sure you don't talk instead. This site usually makes me laugh. I resent being taken dark places. :/
Tigg3r 3
Guys, the teach would've lost her job. Kids don't explain well and people don't like to listen for five minutes. They would rather sling accusations and false assumptions around than listen to the truth. When they do listen to the truth then they will not believe it. Nobody take anybody's word seriously anymore. To all of those who keep saying shit about America. I am proud to live in the land of the brave and the home of the free. I would rather be free than live under constant threat by some tyrannical king. I was brought up on American soil. I will hopefully raise my children on American soil. I will pick up a gun and defend the land that I love because America is my home. We fought for our rights and liberties. Never blaim America otherwise you will find hell upon your country.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
"the land of the brave and the home of the free"? It might have been like this 100 or even 50 years ago. but that's long past and you're only lying to yourself. And the proudness makes no sense - YOU weren't responsible for anything good that happened, so you have no right to be proud of it.
dreadkid08 0
Awww poor kid its not fun to be stuck in a zipper. Parents (and people in general) are stupid and thats why we have stupid laws
jokimb 0
Only in America.
Bucinka 5
Jeez. Only in America is right. G-d forbid we ask our school personnel to actually THINK....
Few_Absolutes 0
In my household, everyone knows that a "school-age child that pisses in its clouts" equals "rubbing child's nose in said piss."
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Yer right, lil' bobby ougtha not piss his darn clouts, it damages the trailer. A child of mine ain't pissin' no clouts! He better be watching NASCAR with me I tell you.