Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
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Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
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Comments (187)
Shallow_Padentic 0
#4 ya not that many people. Just over 1/6 of the WORLDS population.
Shallow_Padentic 0
you go #100. Im black and i speak and write in Chinese. Its pretty cool
Supahnova 14
WIN! Goes to show you that you should be careful about speaking in other languages. No telling who knows what simply because of skin color.
lollercoaster 0
hahahhaha i swear so many people are now fluent in chinese! it makes me happy that others are finally interested in a culture and language that ive appreciated for so long...but now my parents wont talk with me in chinese about the people around us like we used to....its no fun =[
caramel_zee 0
i'd say that it's a general misconception that maybe people just don't think black people can speak any other language than english-i'm black and I started 5 different languages (latin, italian, french, spanish and mandarin) and only decided to master spanish due to my profession....which is kinda funny to see people look at me when I talk to spanish-speaking people, and even funnier when people ask me where i'm from b/c they assume i'm dominican or cuban. but it's mostly useful when people talk about you, like with # 100....i had a group of guys talking about my "onion-shaped booty" and what they'd do with it before I equalized them in seamless spanish
AnaMaree 0
Your grandmother is a racist and by association, so are you. YDI
lisafannypack 0
first of all, he is NOT a racist just by association- i have to admit that my parents are slightly racist sometimes, and i am very offended by it, i wouldn't consider myself racist at all and idk, it doesn't really sound like the grandma is even being racist to me. all she did was call him a black man, her point was that he was annoying, not that he was black, and the OP gave us no reason to assume that he was annoying BECAUSE he was black
ohhhhshizzz 0
#116: I so understand, I have so many spanish, french, and chinese speaking friends/bffs that I'm starting to learn them. I know a lot of spanish, I'm gonna take french next year and over the summer latin & chinese online! It is cool.
Aleister_Grey 0
go Black guy xD, ur grandma shouldnt have said that so im glad she got told
mubaki 18
favorited. I can't even picture a black person speaking chinese. it's enough of a shock when white people come up to me and start speaking it.
wrestler17 0
I can't wait until I'm fluent in mandarin hahaha, I love it it's such a great language, being bilingual would be the shit hahaha