Today, I walked in on my husband jerking off to his friend’s dance videos on YouTube. He “swears on his mother’s grave” he only sees her as a friend. The worst part? He’s never in the mood to have sex because he’s been getting “migraines” when achieving erections. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my husband is furious because I accused him of being in love with my best friend. He talks about her constantly, perks up like a puppy when she comes over, and occasionally only gets erections if I talk about her. Even the kids have noticed how moonstruck he is. FML
Today, my husband came into the bedroom on his phone and threw his gym bag on the bed without looking. I was under the covers with a migraine. Right between my eyes with his trainers. My migraine is now 10 times worse, so I can’t even sleep to escape it. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML
Today, my husband of nearly a decade told me he's been sleeping with his best friend for a year, and also a couple times with my best friend. Marriage destroyed. Life in shambles. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been flirting with and dating behind my back the nurse who treats my cancer. He admitted that he needs someone healthy and not someone who’s “gonna be sick all the time.” He also attempted to justify it by saying, “You’re gonna die anyway and then what am I gonna do?” FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, I found out that my husband likes to stand in front of the bathroom door when my sister (who we took in since my parents died) goes in, and he listens to her urinate. He also has voice memos on his phone of her urinating noises. He claims he’s not doing anything wrong because he’s “not touching her or anything.” FML
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Top comments
core01 30
Masturbating WHILE watching videos of her. That's sexual. How is that NOT thinking of her, or relating her, to sexual gratification? Bet he ain't mastutbating to vids of his dad. Kick him to the curb. He's gaslighting you.
RichardPencil 32
He's so brave to critique his friend's videos even though he gets migraines. That's a hero in my book.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
He's so brave to critique his friend's videos even though he gets migraines. That's a hero in my book.
SirEnigM0nk 22
The Migraine Masturbator needs a talking-to and a short leash.
core01 30
Masturbating WHILE watching videos of her. That's sexual. How is that NOT thinking of her, or relating her, to sexual gratification? Bet he ain't mastutbating to vids of his dad. Kick him to the curb. He's gaslighting you.
poopface82 25
Masturbating to pictures of his dad? Why do I feel like that’s going to end up on a future FML?
Hangryko 32
Yup, divorce.