Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML
Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML
Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PsychoMerk 0
lol :') "the damage was done!"
boopityboppity 11
Well, now we know what you were really thinking about. Gotta love those Freudian Slips.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
Fairywings423 0
This is from Seventeenn in the Traumarama section
Endymion_fml 0
No one going to talk about actual brown sauce? No one? I love it, especially HP Sauce. You understand, Canada.
_DeadPixels_ 0
I have actual brown sauce sitting right in front of me =D Love brown sauce! Way better than... ketchup or something =]
ndiesal 0
FREUDIAN SLIP FTW! In your defense, penis does sound a lot like peanuts. You could have just said that you slurred your speech a bit for some odd reason.
mugiwara_fml 0
Everyone knows that "brown sauce" is butt sauce as "white sauce" is penis sauce. :o)
FockinA 0
what damage? you come off as a fun girl. laugh about it. you're popular. if they don't laugh, well life's a bitch. Get a new boyfriend, one with a fun family that likes brown sauce. lmao
WithLoveAshley 0
You're seriously a ******* idiot. You got that off of seventeen magazine.
chicagochick 0
I've seen this before in Seventeen magazine as well...it was in there about a year ago. Fake...wow.
kaylynnfuckerr 0
yeah, this was in seventeen magazine like a year ago. go lose oxygen.
Day77 0
absolutely loooove it!!! lmao! classic!
wooters 1
once again, ur a smart one -.-
Rithany 0
Hey I got the same Magazine issue...but I Never thought of posting it as my own story :b