Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
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Top comments
the_boss_fml 0
its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom
Peanu_theGreat 0
... You were naked?
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Comments (220)
fml_24seven 0
proceeding to make comments is the highlight of my day... i might just proceed to read some more fmls and then proceed to comment them too. fyl btw
Antonio718 0
Were you masturbating while drinking coffee?
blehargh 0
Maybe he was wearing shorts, and the parts of his legs that were exposed were burned as well as his penis through his shorts. I don't seriously think he was naked with his mom, you guys are the dirty ones for jumping to that conclusion. And #4 is a ******* retard. When did he say he lives with his mom? Maybe he was simply VISITING the person who gave birth to and raised him? Don't you ever visit your mother, you ungrateful asshole? Or maybe he's a teenager who drinks coffee, which isn't unheard of. Don't be a presumptuous dipshit.
newguy12 0
careful, mars bars have been known to kill.
Eat_Veggies 0
Ouch... maybe you should learn to catch :]
Coocumber 0
1-Just because he was holding coffee doesn't mean it was cool enough to drink. 2-You all are retarded for reasons that have already been listed, yet more and more people keep posting the same comment. 3-I have a ******* SCAR on my cooter from hot coffee i spilled on myself when I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD! My point being he may live with his mom because he's YOUNG! Wow I hate everyone
ambur_8 0
whats a mars bar?
Silent_Harmony 3
I've gotten 3rd degree burns from water THREW my clothes when I was 12. Shut up people, get a life, you CAN get burned threw clothes!
Amkii 0
So..... you had your pants off, right? God, I hope. There's nothing better or healthier for relationships with parents than watching TV nude and eating candy with them.
dance123 0
I pictured a guy in whitey tighties watching cartoons with his legs crossed, sipping a cup of coffee like a kid. I know your like older and were probably wearing pants. but FYL definately.