Love: Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When...

By soundbox - 27/01/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 521

You deserved it 4 720

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 432

You deserved it 3 813

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 098

You deserved it 10 949

By Lauren - 08/09/2010 23:13 - Australia

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 8 139

By showerpower - 21/01/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 504

You deserved it 34 876

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 15:48 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 720

You deserved it 10 729

Epitaph

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 14:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend to honestly tell me if I had become overweight. He replied that yes, I had, but that it was OK because I was his "Lumpy Space Princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 1 417

By not-that-fat - 27/07/2009 13:49 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said, "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 326

You deserved it 25 968

By desigymrat - 25/12/2010 05:29 - France

Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 507

You deserved it 42 589

Money!

By Sheezey - 24/02/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 405

You deserved it 6 778

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 359

Sarasa01 0

Monday 23 March 2009 7:06

Is there an Overly Sensitive Tool?

sexy1 0

Monday 2 March 2009 2:26

I'm sorry soundbox, you're just a tool

Comments

sexy1 0

Monday 2 March 2009 2:26

I'm sorry soundbox, you're just a tool

wanderingidiot 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 21:25

ouch......how tall are you?? either way, that hurts

lenkab123 0

Monday 21 June 2010 3:20

some 50 year old men dont even weigh that much!!!

michelleJ11 25

Saturday 31 August 2013 18:26

Are you saying 50 year old men are fat? Most 50 year old men I know aren't fat ...

onluckiest 0

Monday 16 March 2009 5:10

agreed with #2, but sorry dude.

Sarasa01 0

Monday 23 March 2009 7:06

Is there an Overly Sensitive Tool?

24788 6

Thursday 30 April 2009 8:01

lol, that's a good one.

igotbigdick 0

Monday 11 May 2009 23:14

hahaha you have a small weiner lololololoololololololollololololololololololol i am hugh... bitch

magnetic_aura 26

Thursday 18 September 2014 8:01

You're Hugh? And your username also references your penis... Sounds like you're over compensating.

bsaucedo 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 0:06

well tiny tool was actually the winner of the whole show and did care a lot about his girlfried and wasnt really much of a tool. maybe she was referring to that ?