Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,...

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 910

You deserved it 45 023

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 159

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 8 325

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 13 114

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 390

You deserved it 5 713

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 513

You deserved it 18 703

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 434

You deserved it 1 858

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 339

You deserved it 8 737

Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 8 286

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 515

You deserved it 15 209

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 626

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

iKaite 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:23

There is nothing other to say then... ew.

shepaintsmusic 6

Friday 2 July 2010 5:15

that's not gross what's gross about interspecies erotica? yeah no that's narsty

shasui 3

Thursday 22 July 2010 10:45

that's just nasty op

the_boss_fml 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:25

wow WTF is wrong with you... fyl indeed

saa994 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 8:51

YDI for watching snail ****.

danyfuckinheatle 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 7:39

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU????!????!?

MidniteRainbow 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 21:40

what movie?

RunnerBack33 1

Wednesday 16 June 2010 5:07

in soviet china, snail goes at it with you.

Mouldy666 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 23:11

nasty...

WTFjizzinmypantz 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:02

SNAIL ****

deepunder 17

Monday 29 April 2013 5:29

Probably getting hard since they're going faster than u can dream of

JustCallMeCloud 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:25

You disgust me.

88bellydancer 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:26

haha you need a girl mate!

Nizzit 1

Friday 8 May 2009 23:26

wat

frikkinhannah 0

Thursday 29 April 2010 4:31

Snail **** is still **** I guess... better than that guy who got hard eating a Big Mac. o_O

fyourlife11 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:27

ahahahahahahahahahhahahaaha Its not your fault man I get hard watching snails get dirty all the time!

22cute 17

Wednesday 20 June 2012 8:47

Actually I've seen a movie with slug sex & it is amazingly beautiful and erotic. You should see octopus sex as well. Hot! Lol

CupidSparrow 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:27

That is the dumbest FML I've ever seen. Why would you even want to share that?

windfuelsfire 10

Monday 9 April 2012 22:26

That is the dumbest FML comment I've ever seen. Why would you even want to share that?

WellThatSuckz 14

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

You should keep some things to your self,Snail lover >>

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

dakins 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:52

omg lol.... prob the funniest comment on here

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The Top

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 7 513

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 150

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 980

You deserved it 6 415

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 118

Today, I was crying and telling my boyfriend about my problems. When he suddenly stood up, I thought that he was going to grab me some tissues. Turns out he'd gone to get earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 79

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 508

You deserved it 5 672

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 591

You deserved it 18 055

Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

Envy

Stickler

Freakout

Dirty mind

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