Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I was pulled aside by my father's new wife and told, "You're not your dad's favorite anymore and you need to stop acting like it." FML
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Top comments
Wederoney 16
At least you can imagine what would happen if you did.
Kiki242 19
We've all had that moment where a parent is like "if you ever did that".
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Comments (76)
kpc2424 13
Preventative maintenance?
hryffff 11
My dad does that but he just plays around. Perhaps your dad was doing the same.
j_729 18
Your dad hits when you're messing around?
HeartOfLead 24
You must have a good sound system...
TKay916 15
This made me laugh, sorry.
AGB10 19
Overbearing parents...we know all about them.. Sorry OP, at that rate he should know you aren't gonna stick around for long!
CorpsmanUp88 21
I feel sorry for ya but thats pretty funny. Thanks for making my day better ha
gracehi 33
My dad used to smack me and say, "That was for nothing. Just wait 'til you do something."
Zebediabolical 45
My dad used to smack me and say 'That's for whatever I didn't catch you doing this week.'
Rahii_nami 10
hahahaha....sorry but it was funny ..i love ur dad :)
iwadasn 33
Well, he's right.
olpally 33
**** you, dad. What an ass.
raww77 12
maybe their just rough parents mine tell me I'm adopted as a joke because I'm the darkest one their my dad and mom always make jokes and I make them about about their age and other things he just needs to get over it
darwinism 30
Does anyone ever make jokes about your grammar 31?
illegalbeagle69 23
I WILL!! Maybe THEY'RE just rough parents. Mine tell me I'm adopted, as a joke, because I'm the darkest one THERE. My dad and mom always make jokes and I make them about their age (congratulations on using the correct form of their/there/they're) and other things, he just needs to get over it.
grghillis96 15
Maybe he meant it as a joke? My parents did the same sort of thing when I was a child.