Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
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Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I was pulled aside by my father's new wife and told, "You're not your dad's favorite anymore and you need to stop acting like it." FML
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Top comments
Wederoney 16
At least you can imagine what would happen if you did.
Kiki242 19
We've all had that moment where a parent is like "if you ever did that".
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Comments (76)
jennababe98 9
He sounds like the rough kind of parent that OP should know not to mess with.
jayceejaco 15
Wait huh?
theboy13 13
**** you dad. LOL
Shadowbay 18
That's just a form of tough love
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Hmm the line between expression of parental love and alpha-male domineering becomes blurry in this case. And the two aren't always compatible ;)
Obey_StudBoii 23
True that it is.
illegalbeagle69 23
I think I understand... wait.. no.. my dumbass comment deciphering skills just left..
lininnes 6
"OK dad, I will never say: **** you dad! to u, which I had just said to u though."
VentiAnemoi 20
It clearly was a joke from your father.
LilMissHotHead 10
That was random, but at the right moment... I think he planned it!!!O.o
ksktwin84 14
I think 7 is implying that maybe the dad thought OP said it
DaDezza244 31
And get hit in the head again after warning OP not to use those words?