Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I was pulled aside by my father's new wife and told, "You're not your dad's favorite anymore and you need to stop acting like it." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Wederoney 16
At least you can imagine what would happen if you did.
Kiki242 19
We've all had that moment where a parent is like "if you ever did that".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol my dad used to do the same, and if we fell down outside or did something to make us cry he'd say "Do it again and maybe you'll learn". Tough love!
samrat145 5
you deserve it ..
Fedezzer 20
I don't see the value of this as an FML.
Sionnach 10
"Today, my attempt to discipline my son about foul language was met with 'Well, don't ******* hit me for no goddamn reason, you prick.' FML"
Nomadic1 20
This was simply called parenting when I was growing up, mom would slap each of us on the back of the head before we went into the store to make sure we did not act up. We were far less likely to do something if we knew what would happen after.
SMMEric 9
hahahahaha
pmwws 3
That's when you say "**** you dad".
dawood_k 27
Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad...somebody... Reminds me of Russell peters
VentiAnemoi 20
You actually wasted so much time to write such a long comment? Too long didn't read.
msmedieval 11
I've done something like this to my little sister when she was starting to notice bad behavior in other people. It's just tough love :)