Love: Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started... - FML

By Kiimmy - United States

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

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Season finale

Little bundles of joy

Teenage Riot

By Anonymous - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

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By anonymous

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Symphony

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

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By Oh dear... - United States

Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML

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By properpissed - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

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By notthe1punchinglittlegirls

A few good men?

Today, I was visiting my in-laws and sharing a room with my husband's 17-year-old sister. Later that night she and her brother of 24 years started fist-fighting over an air mattress and I had to pull them off each other. The brother later berated me with, "You can't handle any pressure!" FML

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By Ms. Piggy - United States - Clarksville

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

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By leapple - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Riverview

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

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By ;_; - Canada - Burlington

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

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By Out Ran - United States

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

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By green2black - United States

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

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By Booooolette - France - Beauvais

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

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By StomachofTinfoil - United States - Bar Harbor

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

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By omfgfmlife - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

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By DosSantos

Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 05:02 - United States - Gainesville

Go away, creep

Today, I learned that my stalker is still trying to weasel their way into my life even after they doxxed me, cyberstalked me, harassed me, threatened me, and attempted blackmail on me. All this just because I told them that their boyfriend groomed me when I was a minor. FML

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By Foreveralone - United States

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Desperate nan

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

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By Stiffed - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, my old boss stiffed me on a large sum of money he owes me. I tried to contact him and point out that he legally owes me the money, but he won't answer his texts or his phone, and the managers say he changes the subject whenever they bring it up. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Victoria

Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML

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By Anonymous - Norway

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2021 00:01

Burning rubber

Today, I bought a car that literally caught fire seconds after I started the engine. The dealership then fobbed me off, saying I'd driven it off their forecourt (by about 3 yards), so it was entirely my problem, but they still expect my monthly payments to be on time. FML

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By Nochnoii - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I discovered why the toilet seat is often sticky in the morning. My husband is too lazy to lift the seat, instead opting to pee all over it and sleepily wipe it down with loo paper if he notices a splash. He doesn't see why it's a problem since he 'cleans' it. FML

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By toothache - United States - Morton Grove

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

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By 733yoda

Today, the most exciting notification I received was Amazon telling me that my bulk order of toilet paper had been shipped. FML

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By pridekills - United States - Mulberry

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

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By MyLifeSucks - United States - Houston

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

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By anonamous - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

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By tash - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

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By andjusticeforall - United States

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

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By thelarkscaw - United States

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

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By chloeguest97 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

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Top comments

By guiltypleasure12 | 0

#1523263 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:03

he's making a joke, what's the big deal.

By SmallTownCutie | 0

#1523267 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:03

haha he's a funny guy(: keep him around.

COMMENTS

By x805xUnknown | 6

#1523255 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:02

Maybe he likes the intensity of your emotions?

Reply

flashback.miss | 28

#1523363 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:13

A dacryphiliac? maybe? I dont know... this is Oo worthy...

Reply

ElOres | 2

#1523427 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:25

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

jakii_ | 0

#1523430 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:25

you entertain your boyfriend
it's all good

Reply

TurtleHabitat | 0

#1523446 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:28

Tuuuurtttllllessss

Reply

1personinthiswor | 0

#1523508 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:38

15....your pic scares me. A lot.

Reply

I_iz_B_a_troll | 23

#1523523 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:41

FUCK.

Reply

jakii_ | 0

#1523536 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:43

20-- he was probably joking. how is he inconsiderate?
and you didn't SEE her cryimg, so you can't claim she's annoying

Reply

Bad_Boy1321 | 0

#1523555 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:51

Omg ik right

Reply

Epilepsy_fml | 0

#1523703 - Saturday 9 October 2010 21:29

YDI for being a lil pussy ass bitch.

Reply

regine22joy | 0

#1523742 - Saturday 9 October 2010 21:38

it's just a joke, chill guys. and 20, you don't know for sure.

Reply

Kyto7884 | 0

#1523963 - Saturday 9 October 2010 23:11

Not an FML. get over it.

Reply

darlinqqbella | 0

#1523966 - Saturday 9 October 2010 23:12

Congratulations, You officially have a deushbag of a boyfriend.

Reply

Thin_Ice_fml | 0

#1523969 - Saturday 9 October 2010 23:14

Big deal. No one cares about the guy who doesn't show feelings about the movie that sucked one way or the other. If someones wasting my time, I'd be annoyed too. YDI op, and get over it.

Reply

darlinqqbella | 0

#1523972 - Saturday 9 October 2010 23:14

Congratulations, you officially have a deushbag for a boyfriend.

Reply

NatDancer2010 | 0

#1524030 - Saturday 9 October 2010 23:32

that's sweet not an fml

Reply

seanders | 10

#1525434 - Sunday 10 October 2010 3:19

84:congratulations you're a retard and can't spell.

Reply

Leke59 | 2

#1525903 - Sunday 10 October 2010 5:56

HAHA i love how #20 is being "inconsiderate."
Damn Hypocrites.

Reply

YDI_Bro | 0

#1526013 - Sunday 10 October 2010 6:41

lol @ seanders

Reply

hairt | 4

#1526114 - Sunday 10 October 2010 7:25

LOL #113

Reply

acethehusky | 0

#2914761 - Sunday 17 July 2011 17:10

...maybe not.

Reply

lexi1337 | 5

#5873974 - Monday 3 March 2014 7:09

Stop being an ass :)

By FootballFreak4 | 3

#1523261 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:02

haha nice

Reply

shreena112 | 0

#1524175 - Sunday 10 October 2010 0:01

ummmm wow?

Reply

jrsl | 2

#1524620 - Sunday 10 October 2010 1:47

uhm you guys are stupid this is a total repeat.

By guiltypleasure12 | 0

#1523263 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:03

he's making a joke, what's the big deal.

Reply

evillittleme | 5

#1525888 - Sunday 10 October 2010 5:50

agreed! I think he was just trying to cheer you up..

Reply

ViiciousDreamz | 0

#1526064 - Sunday 10 October 2010 7:04

omg crying over a movie, loser

Reply

ImCool7 | 0

#1526220 - Sunday 10 October 2010 7:52

exactly. this isnt a fml....

Reply

saladgirl123 | 0

#1535969 - Tuesday 12 October 2010 4:39

i agree

By pilotkev | 5

#1523265 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:03

Totally the crying girlfriend!

By SmallTownCutie | 0

#1523267 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:03

haha he's a funny guy(: keep him around.

Reply

fantita495 | 19

#1526250 - Sunday 10 October 2010 7:59

totally agree!!

By robnunzi | 0

#1523270 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:03

my guess would be neither

By xStiina | 0

#1523301 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:05

Haha, he sounds fun :p

By explosiveskittle | 0

#1523316 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:06

hahahah. how is that FYL?

By ifyouseekamy666 | 0

#1523320 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:06

this is so NOT and fml YDI for making me waste minutes of my life reading this!

Reply

jacketfootball | 0

#1523347 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:09

it took you minutes of your life to read this?

Reply

jacketfootball | 0

#1523396 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:18

oh yeah change you comment and make me look like a dumbass thanks bud

By iRyanJr | 0

#1523327 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:07

Boyfriend win. Don't cry, grow some balls. Not really grow some balls but you get the point.

Reply

elmorous | 0

#1523548 - Saturday 9 October 2010 20:48

yah, that would be gross for him