Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open on a blender while removing a sticker that said, “Sharp blade, remove carefully”. I wouldn’t have gone near the blade if it weren’t for the stupid warning sticker that needed to be removed to use it. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
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Top comments
audiophileMom 11
Well, warning her after the fact was redundant to begin with. You still don't deserve it - nobody does. Ouch!!
iamyummylicious 14
^This is what we call a brandnomer (a genericized trademark)This happens when a brand name product becomes a colloquialism and is synonymous with a type of product. Some common brandnomers are Kleenex (facial tissue), Popsicle (ice pops), Band-aid (adhesive bandage), Jell-o (gelatin desserts), Bubble Wrap (inflated cushioning), Clorox (Bleach), Photoshop (photo manipulation), Rollerblade (inline skates) U-Haul (box truck), Crock-Pot (slow cooker), AstroTurf (artificial turf), etc. *rainbow appears* - The more you know...
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Comments (59)
poocherz97 3
Toupe mofo!
leilaostara 1
Cue saying: 'for example, dont do that.'
bubo_fml 11
Stanley's a right bastard, isn't he?!
zebralover23 14
Ouch!!!
charlieinfinite 1
How romantic! :P
ohSNAPyall 27
Don't do that thing you just did. You'll get that wound you just got.
ROTFLMAOLDM 13
Karmas a bitch isnt it?
melkymac101 17
Are u okat
cheerluv15 0
Ouch. I Feel bad for u
2cute4u_18 1
Jackass