Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADHD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML
Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I thought Marge's blue pubes would help you get to the finish line.
MrHomerSimpson 11
Don't say that about my wife.
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Comments (181)
UsEumYong 4
Should've been thinking about how you can turn marge white.
ItsYourMamaDoe 0
24, yeah I realized. I see you change your comment, why is that?
kateheartswaffle 0
That's a useless question, no?
thisblowsaton 4
I too had to google this. fml- oh, look! something shiney!
Airman1988 9
The real question is what color do the Simpson characters turn when you choke em, Im going with green
insanez58 11
i know your pain, i have ADHD so i can't focus for 30 seconds
rockinsexychick 5
I'm ADHA and ADD it totally..... Omg I just saw something shiny.... O right my bad but ya I know how bad it is. Try having sex with a guy like that believe me it don't...... SHINY AGAIN!!!!..... O right sorry I saw something shiny!!!
eyeIoveyou 4
lol, that's O.D.
gabrielbaby 9
You can't have both.
97currie 0
36- does OD stand for overdone? because that would be fitting..
rockinsexychick 5
You can when u have this wierd disorder that I have that makes me have all these diseases so ya u can have both in some cases and alot of my friends have both too
lissalove17 8
35- is that disorder called hypochondriasis maybe? ADD/ADHD is over diagnosed, and far too many people incorrectly self-diagnose it.
rockinsexychick 5
No like I legit have it because iv been tested for it and all
kayar1995 4
My sister goes to a school filled with people who has some sort of autism and there is a guy who has both so yeah you can have both...
blackwidowtaco 31
Weird*
mlnelly 7
Ha Ha (Nelson's voice)
tanntann 0
SAIL!!
3ph600v 15
The Simpsons are yellow because the animators wanted to make sure the show stood out, something to grab your attention when you were browsing the channels. Almost 23 years later, I think it worked.
ewputthataway 0
You ruined the mystery .-.
Jennielee 6
You sure about that? I saw an interview once with Matt and an audience member asked him why yellow he said it wasn't his choice. They were working in black and white and someone suggested yellow (she also suggested purple trees, lol) bTW the show is 24 years old if you count when it was on the Tracey Ullman show.
cassidy0922 6
I saw that same thing on this celebrity fact app thing. Haha