Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the...

By CanadianTwin - 06/07/2012 06:52 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 32 788

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

BO Central

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

By sickly - 18/02/2011 13:06

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 435

You deserved it 4 327

Pray the pain away

By bad religion - 28/05/2021 17:01

Today, I was crying to my sister that my therapist office messed up and didn’t schedule my appointment. My mom overheard and yelled, "You don’t need that mess anyway! Just pray about it!” Being raised with her religious fanaticism is what led to my insomnia, anxiety, depression, and guilt complex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 135

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 307

You deserved it 3 534

By bosslady - 30/06/2015 09:57 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 391

You deserved it 2 280

By Anonymous - 13/05/2014 05:42 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 387

You deserved it 8 344

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 130

You deserved it 5 171

Time for an intervention

By Sierra Madre - 20/10/2019 04:00

Today, I got yelled at all day at work, only to come home and get yelled at by my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 161

By loon - 28/10/2008 11:13 - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 711

You deserved it 9 721

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 02:11 - Canada

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 2 879

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 05:00

Today, my husband waited until our honeymoon to reveal his scat fetish, because he didn’t want me to think he was too weird to marry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 126

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 518

You deserved it 223

By ssjin93 - 24/11/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 186

You deserved it 2 395

There's an app for everything

By Anonymous - 09/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 630

By I piss upon thee - 13/05/2016 18:35 - United States - Toledo

Today, I got a warning for not covering a shift, on my day off, for someone who didn't want to go to work. Apparently the next time I “do something wrong", I'll either get warned again or fired, whichever they feel like doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 1 018

By not_trained_for_this - 18/11/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 947

You deserved it 2 931

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 937

You deserved it 28 816

By Pups4Cups - 26/10/2016 12:43

Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 331

You deserved it 1 758

By bureaucracy - 29/01/2017 13:00 - United States - Bellingham

Today I went to the bus station to pick up a lost phone. Even after calling ahead the day before, I was turned away because I hadn't e-mailed. The website says to call and doesn't list an e-mail. I still don't have the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 564

You deserved it 438

By drunkfacebookuser - 23/10/2010 13:15 - Australia

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 628

You deserved it 13 862

By Anonymous - 07/12/2014 19:20 - Ireland - Galway

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 545

You deserved it 3 661

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 468

You deserved it 30 567

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 12:00

Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 132

By noneedtostress - 17/03/2012 15:52 - Australia

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 762

You deserved it 10 434

By frustrated - 01/06/2009 07:06 - Hong Kong

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 972

You deserved it 5 906

By embarrassed4life - 25/06/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 080

You deserved it 15 672

By walkingdictionary - 18/01/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 607

You deserved it 36 817

By nycplywood - 18/11/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 372

You deserved it 32 018

By Anonymous - 17/02/2015 17:42

Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 592

You deserved it 26 600

By anonymous - 17/04/2012 01:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 826

You deserved it 7 428

Assman

By Panda_bruh96 - 12/11/2021 05:00

Today, I love my boyfriend just as I always have, but I'm realizing I don't know if we'll last because he's an angry drunk. He drinks frequently, and I've talked to him about it, only to be met with, "I'm a grown ass man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 170

By need my own place - 24/10/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 856

You deserved it 1 573

By Anonymous - 21/09/2010 21:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 157

You deserved it 7 871

Double standards

By onlywantuanyway - 05/09/2014 22:59

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 804

You deserved it 8 264

By embaressed - 27/01/2009 17:33 - Canada

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 236

You deserved it 33 977

Anyway, here's Wonderwall

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 352

You deserved it 80 306

By anonymous - 13/08/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 853

You deserved it 18 243

By Bad Dad - 20/10/2014 03:48 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 287

You deserved it 4 924

By Jennifer - 20/01/2016 19:20 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 118

You deserved it 10 618

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 3 097

By TJFuentes - 11/02/2015 13:39 - United States - Appleton

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 254

You deserved it 3 742

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Top comments

perdix 29

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Friday 6 July 2012 11:46

Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

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Friday 6 July 2012 11:45

Better him than your boyfriend.

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

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Friday 6 July 2012 11:45

Better him than your boyfriend.

silbot 11

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Friday 6 July 2012 17:16

Usually, if someone stinks, people don't like to be around them. Keep that in mind..

d_unsub 12

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Friday 6 July 2012 17:30

I agree with you, I think is better if the person is close to you; and even if the person is not close to you is still better if They tell you. At least I would prefer if anyone told me instead of trying to protect my feelings; for me its better to know I have to improve my hygiene than being unaware that people are uncomfortable around me cos I stink.

tjv3 10

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:52

Maybe you should shower more OP and use body wash

tjv3 10

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Saturday 7 July 2012 1:54

When I was in school we had a group of kids that we had to have a special after class discussion about personal hygiene because they all stunk very bad and had very bad breath

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:07

worst part of management= having to tell someone they need to shower. Nothing worse than telling someone not close to you they stink!

perdix 29

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Friday 6 July 2012 11:46

Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

bananatrees 4

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Friday 6 July 2012 13:30

Just because someone has a boyfriend, doesn't mean they have to be with them 24/7 and aren't allowed to go shopping with their family. OP, at least he tried to be subtle :)

perdix 29

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Friday 6 July 2012 14:30

#9, CTFD. Why so serious? Just trying to make a few little jokes here. I should be grateful you didn't jump down my throat for suggesting it's not fun to go to Walmart with your dad. A few days ago, I took my daughter to Walmart and had her doubling over with laughter at my zany hijinks.

perdix 29

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Friday 6 July 2012 17:46

#23, it's funny that you used (sp?) once. You could have used it many, many times in your post. :D

TheVelocirabbit 10

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:00

What does SP stand for on here? I tried looking it up, but it had a lot of answers, and I didn't know which one.

peve3 12

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:04

Spelling mistake possibly??

Roflsauruz 12

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:15

28- the person above me is right. When someone goes " (sp?) " beside a word, they're wondering if they got the spelling correct and/or are unsure of the actual spelling of the word. Sp. = spelling.

Roflsauruz 12

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:25

Er, I think some of the things i said were redundant, lol... Oopsiesssss.... :'c... AAAAAANNYYyyywaaaayyyy.... Yes, in this case, #28, the "sp?" was referring to the spelling. :)

TheVelocirabbit 10

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:27

Oh, okay. Thanks >u

Roflsauruz 12

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:28

No probleeemooooooo.... ^-^! Hehe.

Tarah2112 3

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Friday 6 July 2012 21:17

Well while we're learning here what does OP mean please? Lol

fylx100 19

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Friday 6 July 2012 21:31

47- OP just stands for "Original Poster" and now I know you're gonna read that and think "What is original poster?" because that is what I was thinking when I first found out lol. Original poster is the male/female that posted this FML. So If you read "FYL OP" they are telling the person who posted the FML that their life sucks. Lol hope this helps you understand!

muzy 23

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Saturday 7 July 2012 2:46

54- It might just be that you use the mobile version. I find that I make quite a few mistakes when using my mobile because of the keys being too close to each other. dyslexic* (sorry I couldn't contain myself).

MakeTodayADTR 20

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Friday 6 July 2012 12:11

All I can picture is some greasy kid heading straight for the computer games isle. :/

123josie123 11

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:28

OP deserves it for being a Smelly Kelly.

onlychildFTW 33

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Friday 6 July 2012 20:17

I think OP should take the hint, and of he doesn't already, shower in the mornings. I shower at night but I really don't smell. Even after sports. But OP, FYL as well as YDI for being smelly.

wironandine 8

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Saturday 7 July 2012 5:59

Lol same here. He was at Walmart shopping for clothing

crazzy_jazzy 4

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Saturday 3 May 2014 10:37

That would be me...

allisurd 17

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 2:59

Steam has sales, no point in running to walmart for that

Finnick_fml 12

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Friday 6 July 2012 12:25

.. I'm sorry, OP. /: At least he wasn't terribly blunt, most people tend to be assholes if someone around them stinks. There's no easy, unoffensive way to tell people that they need to put on deodorant/shower more - but at least your Dad told you! :) Trust me, it's a lot better that then being embarrassed by people wrinkling their nose when around you/some random stranger telling you. I don't blame you, though - it's superrrr hot & disgusting out :I

TheArchAngel 8

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Saturday 7 July 2012 5:15

Finnick got 4th comment!

ishuvaibhav 4

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Wednesday 1 August 2012 0:49

What's OP mean?

n3rdzgotskillz 29

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Friday 6 July 2012 12:38

It might not have been because you smell! Maybe you had sweat stains. My friend gets laaaarge sweat stains, but doesn't smell at all.

DocBastard 38

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Friday 6 July 2012 12:58

I always thought Walmart was a third world country where people don't use deodorant. Hm.

TheDrifter 23

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:07

I have seen the children wearing it as war paint Doc, I think that counts. That place is like the world's biggest unsupervised daycare.

TheVelocirabbit 10

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Friday 6 July 2012 18:09

And that's a reason I like Festival more.

kimg0885 23

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Friday 6 July 2012 21:00

One would think so what with all the dirty, ravenous, uncared for children running around.

citymayer 7

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Friday 6 July 2012 23:32

It's weird when I see people dumping on Walmart for trashiness and such because the Walmart in my city is actually a pretty nice place. It's clean and looks nice. Even smells nice. People control their children. Only the occasional public pajama sighting. The only problems they share with other walmarts described on the Internet are the restrooms (a given since its public) and the checkout lines.

cBlackout 13

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Saturday 7 July 2012 6:19

51, go look up 'people of walmart'. Please and thank you.

citymayer 7

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Saturday 7 July 2012 15:49

Too bad it has nothing to do with what I said. Allow me to paraphrase, i find it weird when people dump on Walmart bc the Walmart in my town (the only Walmart I've been to) is awesome. What does people of Walmart have to do with that? I already know what people of Walmart is. So... Your welcome for wasting my time answering you.