Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Chainsaw
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Assumptions
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Let me rest!
Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML
Take that stuff outside
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Teamwork
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Sleepless in Singapore
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
I'm so tired
Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML
Today, on The Love Boat…
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
Top comments
keverdeen 14
Monster in law....
godhelpusall111 12
What the hell did you do that for?
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Comments (124)
Sanrio90 8
Even if he was just being lazy, it's still not your place to wake him up in his own house! I HATE when people think they have the right to tell others how to live.
Gummybearjunkie 3
Wow. You should have asked why he was sleeping before assuming he was lazy then doing a bitch thing like stomping in the house. I wouldn't let you visit anymore if I were him.
obred12 2
Do not ever **** around with someones sleep!!!
totaler166 12
There is no glorying or padding that. You're a **** and I hope that shoe hit you square in the face.
Nessco 36
Yet another example of people thinking they know everything about everyone's business. You could have just asked why he was still in bed instead of assuming he was being lazy. You don't know everyone's personal story so butt out! You totally deserved being hit with a shoe.
nightowl713 25
This FML is comparable to the only other post I've ever felt the need to push you deserve it a million times. The other you ask? When the cashier told the lady she was rich enough she didn't need her change, when she was actually giving it charity. You lady, are a bitch in the worst way. Even if he were sleeping in to be lazy, it's his house and none of your damn business.
b_rad_fml 4
Good for you! Typical MIL, mouth in gear before the brain is in gear. But then again, you'd probably have done that even if you knew his shift hours! YDI twice over!
0h_Boy 26
I'm sorry, but, you're a bitch for that. I work overnights, so I know what it's like. You should've said something
Sarow_96 13
YDI FOR BEING AN ASS !! IF I WERE HIM I WLD HAVE KILLED YOU ON THE SPOT !! BE GRATEFUL THAT U GOT THE CHANCE TO WRITE THIS FML -,- idiot !
flysniper77 6
Dumb ****