Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML
Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML
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Top comments
keverdeen 14
Monster in law....
godhelpusall111 12
What the hell did you do that for?
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Comments (124)
myeviltwin 20
Also your daughter should have told you. But it is still your fault for being judgemental and rude. How about he comes to your house at midnight and does the same thing?
nancyschmancy 9
Congratulations! You got your FML published! Too bad it was because you were being a total ******* douche bag! WTG!!
CrookedCook 14
and you still referred to him as a lazy ass...
sniken 14
I wouldn't stop at throwing a shoe... Even if he didn't work night shift it's not your right or place to question him in his house. It would've been ok to ask your daughter something like "long night for your husband?" and nothing more! Cuz it's non of your ******* business.
Rosie_Posie43 12
Some of the worst parents turn into great in laws. It's the thought of a grandchild that makes them kiss ass.
firethief21 4
thats very rude and inconsiderate of you to act like a bitch when you have no idea why he is sleeping. i work those hours and if my mother in law did that to me id throw a shoe too
bigtaytay 13
This is why mother-in-laws have the reputation of being bitches
TheSvoloch 5
Let sleeping dogs lie, woman hitler. YDI (Fun fact: woman hitler is an anagram of mother in law)
Sprezlaus 9
I can't help but hope that it was a steel-toe boot....
StephenStills 6
You deserved it. Bitches always deserve it.