Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
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Top comments
myoukei 31
Her: "I'll make you scream baby .... That was not what i intended"
Jowisee 29
Well that'll get her in the mood.
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Comments (82)
Pinto_2015 9
Not enough oooo's in smooth for that maneuver lover boy.
gosh_mate 30
This should be illustrated!
False_Stupidity 42
Wow, I couldn't help cringing at this FML. You must have some real low hanging balls for this to even happen. **** your life indeed, although I hope your girlfriend was sympathetic and offered to kiss things better or otherwise take your mind off it.
vikky538 29
Feel your pain bro..
writergirl1029 17
Kidney stones, UTIs, and breaking your femur are worse, but those are tough competition. At least OP can take some comfort in knowing that he was fully justified in screaming like a girl.
kevinhlee93 7
Are your balls that saggy?...
zyero 9
Got to admit sitting on your balls hurts... A lot... A hell of a lot especially hip dropping on them, my balls are having sympathy pains after reading this fml
EarlFug 19
Sure it hurts to sit on your balls... a lot. But it's not like you got hit with a hammer, you sat on a mattress. 1. Sobbing like a girl? C'mon dude. 2. Even saying sobbing "like a girl"? Disrespectful I hope you were just exaggerating to get published because that is just weak. It's fine to express the pain you're in but it passes. Then you can have a laugh and back to sexy unless you're still being a wuss. I'm sure she would have been first in line to kiss it better if you weren't being a wuss.
Badkarma4u 17
Exactly.
Hop6e 22
Well now you've established new levels in your relationship! Woohoo! What's next?
worldclassrager 41
Blue balls...literally...