Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Mood ruined
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Cool moves, bro
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
You tried
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
Don't you want me baby?
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Not really the desired effect
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
A good yanking
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Slick move
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Top comments
myoukei 31
Her: "I'll make you scream baby .... That was not what i intended"
Jowisee 29
Well that'll get her in the mood.
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Comments (82)
speakfreely 21
Mr.Smooth
kaybows 14
*Brief moment of appreciation for female genitals and their toughness. *
ObeyTheWaves 11
The most searing pain known to man, I feel for you.
ILikeKoalas 24
"Sobbing like a girl", really fed up of hearing these, "like a girl" sentences. ?
darkmatou_fml 19
Agree, our gender is not an insult or a degrading term.
chuchusheep 19
right?! if anything, women are made to tolerate more pain than men. An example being childbirth.
russiancat464 12
Well, when girls do so, its usually much more violent and unrelenting than when men do it, so that's why...
ballislife2324 14
Oh no feminist alert. We don't mean it in degrading terms, but women cry more and louder than the average guy so that's why some people say that
greeneyedx 23
It's annoying no matter what, when someone says "like a girl"
ILikeKoalas 24
That wasn't even my point, my point was how "like a girl" is just always used in general as an insult. And it's completely untrue.
Kittyphysics 21
I'm offended that you're offended. yeah, we cry harder. so freaking what. it's part of what makes us women. he noticed and used it to make his point. so freaking what. that would be like a blonde getting angry about blonde jokes. there isn't a huge "blonde movement". seriously. I'm beginning to think women in the country have just run out of stuff to nag about.
Badkarma4u 17
Define tolerating pain. Most women I know screamed like hell giving birth.
sparkledoge 29
I would agree on the tolerating pain part because i have two brothers who scream when the cat bites them and being the only female i'm also the only one of us who doesn't scream when bitten by an animal. I've also been playing paintball with friends and the guys were the ones screaming the most when getting shot. And also i'd like to see how you would do if men could give birth. That aside i don't mind the whole "like a girl" stuff much because here doing things "like a man" often implies being dirty and lazy, yet i don't see men complaining about it. But there are people who tolerate pain more than others in both genders anyway.
Rababco 29
I think "sob like a girl" is used because women are considered more emotional and emotionally expressive than men so they're more likely to cry. Personally, I think it's stupid that men are looked down upon when they act emotionally. Plus, some women aren't very emotional and emotionally expressive (I rarely ever cry anymore) and some men are so it's not a very accurate statement. There is nothing wrong with being emotional for men or women and it shouldn't be seem that way. Other "like a girl statements" like run like a girl and throw like a girl don't make much sense to me because there are some really talented female runners and throwers. It's not only degrading to women but men as well because it's generally used to insult men by insulting women in the process.
Stealthclaws 16
That’s how I know the OP is one of those guys with super fragile masculinity
dirty_dan_ 15
Did you gets still get it on?
Liyuesigs 8
If they are dangling that low, tie them in a knot might prevent this from happening again. I am a girl, just trying to help.
qdawg06 23
Well, you still could've asked her for some TLC after that little incident right? Could have milked hurting yourself?
daddysgirl243 21
that's a panty-dropper
russiancat464 12
How saggy are your balls dude Lmao
ThatOneAstro 15
Atleast you made someone scream