Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
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Top comments
myoukei 31
Her: "I'll make you scream baby .... That was not what i intended"
Jowisee 29
Well that'll get her in the mood.
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Comments (82)
Kittyphysics 21
awww op. at least you tried. a for effort.
reyse_labrecque 4
#GrrrrrMondays
theroxors19 12
well I'd ****** cry too if I sat on my balls. FYL
lilchica22001 22
Thank you for making me laugh out loud uncontrollably in Walgreens! At least the pharmacist laughed with me....or at me? Crappppp!
pizza_lover_23 6
That's what happens when it's too long ??
Strega 5
I'm a girl and I've never sobbed due to sitting on my own balls. So no, you sobbed like a boy :P
AwkwardKarma 18
?
yukahnn 10
Bwaha lmao bro im so sorry for you.
nishantvas 13
Sorry for laughing so hard man
juniorbirdman 7
I know the feeling, I've done something very similar, but my girlfriend decided shed comfort me by giving me a ******* and hitting my balls by accident, only making it worse