Miscellaneous: Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the...

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 126

You deserved it 73 384

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Same thing different taste

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 644

You deserved it 46 014

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 593

You deserved it 847

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 377

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 1 390

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 481

You deserved it 323

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 110

You deserved it 6 670

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 5 975

Keeping warm

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 282

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 941

You deserved it 61 814

gigi37 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:08

Nice job

heyitsbrii 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:36

lmao!! that is like the funniest mental picture ever haha

Comments

ronaldo_weasley 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 21:26

well you know what they say, its better to be pissed on then pissed off. oh wait, no its not.

Roberto22 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 22:21

Why didnt you just, oh i dont know, stop pissing?

chillybrewhaha 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 22:34

fail

MissOriginal 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:10

Boys get bored WAY too much....

onceuponapenis 0

Monday 4 January 2010 3:37

personally I would rather be pissed off then pissed on, but to each's own...

hotboy977 0

Monday 4 January 2010 10:47

lol 87

LAIchun 0

Monday 4 January 2010 18:39

HAHAHAHA made me laugh soo hard -- almost pissed myself... almost =P

extinct_fizz 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 19:09

Sometimes I think people do stupid stuff like this with the thought, "Hey, if it ends up sucking it'll be HUGE on FML!"

Darraghscoot 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 4:16

shut up bitch :L:L .ROFLMFAO

mrfofo 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 6:09

i back up when i pee too its kinda fun

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 86

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 525

You deserved it 2 929

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 428

You deserved it 43 142

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 445

You deserved it 20 939

Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 26 432

Today, I found out that my girlfriend actually broke up with me a week ago. Apparently, she thought it wasn't necessary to tell me, she just assumed I'd figure it out on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 168

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 2 349