Miscellaneous: Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the...

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 135

You deserved it 73 444

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Same thing different taste

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 654

You deserved it 46 048

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 622

You deserved it 862

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 426

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 1 413

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 338

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 135

You deserved it 6 677

You OK in there?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 198

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 402

Rememberance Day special

By Crappy circumstances - 11/11/2025 12:00

Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 89

Fountainhead

By iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 365

You deserved it 7 783

gigi37 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:08

Nice job

heyitsbrii 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:36

lmao!! that is like the funniest mental picture ever haha

Comments

hassenpfeffermmm 0

Friday 28 May 2010 16:54

that's hilarious

charbz 0

Friday 6 August 2010 12:18

lmao I hope you kept your mouth shut

99XxJoKeRxX99 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:51

Wow that is pretty impressive.

Tenaed 7

Sunday 3 April 2011 0:57

bahahahaha!

iloveshh23 2

Monday 4 July 2011 5:02

bahahahaha.

Zedric69 3

Friday 8 July 2011 11:56

heavy fire power xD

skygirl333 3

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:53

Fail.

ZielZone 4

Sunday 25 September 2011 4:34

Idiot

d3ath1snatural 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 4:53

your not alone I've done it too. :)_

Unlucky_Gun 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 1:18

Haha YDI. I'm not gonna lie your an idiot, but your awesome. It's funny when people have no common sense sometimes depending on what they do hahaha

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The Top

Today, I had a bad and very unenthusiastic one night stand and tried to quietly order an Uber while she was getting dressed. Turns out, she's an Uber driver and being as she was in the area, the alert came over her phone. She was furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 914

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 020

You deserved it 10 491

Today, I planned on introducing my fiancé to my parents. After the introductions, and telling him how I hoped our relationship would have the same amount of love and commitment that has lasted my mother and father for 25 years, my parents awkwardly announced their imminent divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 004

You deserved it 3 189

Today, I have to cross a bridge every day on my way to work. Except for this week, as the bridge was closed for repairs and the detour turned my half an hour drive into one and a half hours. Now it turns out that the bridge is irreparably damaged and has to be replaced, which will likely take four or five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 100

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 541

You deserved it 24 786

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 582

You deserved it 7 829