By Anonymous - 15/07/2013 03:40 - United States - Odenton

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 953
You deserved it 7 176

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Druu 53

And that's when you reply, "Fuck getting you a driver's license."

\ 28

That, my friend, is a fine example of "YOLO." Or more accurately, of natural selection.


\ 28

That, my friend, is a fine example of "YOLO." Or more accurately, of natural selection.

And least Op put where they were from so we know where to never drive a green car..

\ 28

Well the whole US isn't composed ONLY of reckless drivers...

mahoney94 6

She was referring to Maryland.

Why yes, yes it is! I have to admit americans (most not all) suck at driving.

K410 18

Or how women drive :p

1 - The problem with natural selection is that in this case, OP's daughter is naturally selecting other people on their behalf in addition to herself. Natural selection is not always a good thing.

84. I don't think you quite understand natural selection

89 - Or maybe I do and just made a shit and/or poorly worded joke.

SwaggCapone 11

I'm sorry but where did Maryland come from?

109 - It says under the FML that it happened in Maryland.

\ 28

Hmm, the state doesn't show up in the mobile app

SwaggCapone 11

119- Exactly the reason I asked that. lol

Yeah, on the old version of the mobile app and on the website it says op is from Maryland

Old version 1 - New version (I have no idea)

Grounded! I'd tell her she could forget the license since she can't follow instruction, and in a potentially dangerous situation at that. And that she'll be getting a job to pay for the damages. I'm sure shed think twice next time about being a shit.

Oh shit, I drive a green car. Better not go to Maryland.

Druu 53

And that's when you reply, "Fuck getting you a driver's license."

\ 28

Poor thing must've mistook the green car for a green light

I feel like a lot of driver's parents should've said the same thing. Some people's driving slightly horrifies me.

Which is exactly why she said, "Fuck the green CAR".

Neyuu 18

That's okay, I thought your joke was funny, #3. We know she didn't actually mistake the green car for a green light. That's why it's called a joke.

Seriously, that's craziness. I just recently got my license and I would always listen to my dad. Idk what she was thinking.

16, The DMV should say that to most of the idiots out there. What upsets me is that some driving schools don't do the whole time. They just take you out once, if your "good enough" they'll pass you.

48: When are you going to teach Joey to drive, damn it?

Is it required to go to driving school in some places? In ky, we just take a written test and then 6 months later we drive around for like 10 minutes with an instructor for the driving test

And deprive you of the joy of teaching joey? Nah I'm going to sit back with a plate of bacon and watch y'all.

Where I'm from if your merging you wait till you have a proper opening. But our drivers are assholes like OP's daughter and we know not to trust that they'll let you in.

jdimaria3 13

62, yeah. In Massachusetts we have to take a permit exam to obtain our permit, and then in order to get our license we have to take 30 hours of drivers ed and pass the written test at the end, drive 40 hours with our parents, do 12 hours of driving with the driving school, and do 6 hours of observation (sit in the backseat and watch another student drive) with the driving school. After we've done all that we have to pass a road test, which is basically your drive around for 10 minutes with an instructor. It seems like we have to do a lot more in MA than in other states.

I totally understand that she should have listened to her parent, but if the green car was in a merge lane, then wouldn't they be at fault because they have to yield when merging?

graceinsheepwear 33

She sounds like someone who would leave the A/C on after the driving test anyway.

In BC, Canada, we take a written test at 16, and if we pass we have our L for a year. Meaning, we can only drive with a supervisor over 25 with a valid license, and not by ourselves. After a year we can take a road test, which if you pass, you get your N; meaning you can drive alone, but with only one other friend. Family is unlimited though. And the N stage is two years before you can take another road test to get your full license. Having just got my N, I think its a pretty decent system.

HungerGames95 13

62, in mn we take a classroom drivers training for two weeks. When you're 15 you can take your permit test (which is written). Once you pass you can drive with an adult. In order to test for your provisional license you need 6 hours of behind the wheel with an instructor and 30 hours daytime driving with your parents and 10 nighttime driving with your parents. Then you can take the test. Which only takes like 10 mins. Once you pass for the first 6 months you can only have 1 underage passenger (but the # of family passengers you can have is unlimited) then the next 6 months you can have to underage passengers. After a year the amount of passengers isn't restricted. Then once you turn 18 you get your regular drivers license

HungerGames95 13


Actually, in a merging scenario, both the people on the highway and in the merge lane share right of way. Otherwise, one would never let the other one go. So you're supposed to time your entrance carefully and properly (ie be going at the speed of traffic, switch lanes onto the highway when there's a clear opening), and the cars on the highway are obligated to let you on. In some cases (such as where I'm from), you could actually report someone who doesn't let you onto the highway (if they're doing so maliciously), but that's kind of ridiculous and I don't think anyone has actually done that. There's also, in some places, laws like "The Last Clear Chance Rule," which states that, if you could have avoided a collision but chose not to because you had right of way (or whatever other reason that would generally make it not your fault), you are still at fault! Long story short: the daughter is totally at fault.

bfsd42 20

Thank you 130. Yielding while merging is the wrong way and a very dangerous thing to do. It's a huge problem here in CA where people don't speed up to merge, or even slow down and cause a big clusterfuck.

FeatherTips 10

In Alaska, you can get a permit at 14 and a license at 16. Driving school just lowers the insurance rates. You have to wait for 6 months between getting the permit and license, unless you're 18, at which point you don't have to wait.

#62, you are required to before you are 18. After 18, you can just take the written test, take the drive test the next day if you wanted to, then you'll have your license.

Yeah it's in most of the DMV books people merging onto hiway are supposed to slow down and merge onto it when there is an opening. Not just run down there lane and try to push people out of the way. HiPo. Mo

But, of she sped up and slammed into it? I think she'd still be in the wrong. You don't just plow into someone because you don't like that they are there. Unless you're in Hollywood of course.

summerbean 6

It pretty much the same in Ontario except your supervisor doesn't have to be over 25, just hold a G license(full license) and have been licensed for a min of 5yrs. Also we only have to wait one year before going for the last road test. Also driving school isn't mandatory but gives you a discount on insurance and you can get you G2/N 4 months sooner.

I get the feeling she may end up winning a Darwin award

Get her a green push bike until she's mature enough to drive.

It scares me that there are people like this on the roads

it scares me that people in the us actually learn how to drive by having their parents teach them in a normal car without a second set of gas, brake and clutch

I thought that was what the emergency brake was for or at least that's what my families learning how to drive policy has been.

#25, so German parents all spend hundreds or thousands of Euros to get their cars modified just to teach their child how to drive? Somehow I doubt that.

#46, we have driving schools with cars that are modified for this purpose. 2 sets of mirrors, only the stick and the steering wheel are not there twice. Driving instructors need to take a test before being allowed to teach, additional to a standard drivers license. We have to take a certain amount of mandatory lessons (including driving at night, Autobahn and so on) before being allowed to take our test in the first place it's germany, how could you expect us not to have laws and rules for everything :)

I think thats how It's done in most countries. Learning by family or friends. Or just learning by doing, give the kid the keys to some old wreck and a empty dirtroad to drive on by themselves. The kid learns quickly to hill start and drive a manual, and the father gets to take a nap somewhere else.

25, I agree. Here we have to take around 13 driving lessons from a qualified instructor before we can take our driving test for a real license, with the instructor having a modified car. The concept of family just teaching people to drive seems dangerous to me. I don't know if it is, but it's a foreign concept nonetheless.

Where I live, driver's ed isn't needed for a license, but it would be stupid not to do it. They help you with everything and when you're done they bring you straight to the road test. The US has driving schools too.

Llama_Face89 33

That's how it is in the US as well. But there's nothing against a parent taking their child out for some practice if they're old enough.

GwennaRose 22

I learned to drive in my front yard...on a tractor...from my parents.

#55, That's how US driving schools operate as well. The licensing laws vary state by state, but I got mine from New York, so I can at least tell you how theirs works. At 16 you take a test on traffic laws and you get a Learner's Permit, which means you can drive if you have a parent or over-18 sibling in the car with you. Driver's Ed is optional, but if you take it (which I did; it was a six week class of Monday/Wednesday/Friday driving in a training car like you described and Tuesday/Thursday lectures) you can upgrade your license at 17. If you don't take it, you have to wait until 18. Either way, both require you to take a driving test. Long explanation, sorry, but the "stupid Americans" stereotype annoys me. We don't just throw our teenagers behind the wheel of a car and say, "Go, drive! Freedom!" We do try to make it safe. OP's daughter is just a particularly stupid outlier.

Just what 131 said. Parents drive with their kids in addition to their kids taking driver's ed.

In the United States of America, states have differing rules. Pennsylvania, for example, you take a written test in order to a learner's permit. A learner's permit is valid for one year. A learning's permit allows you to drive with a parent, a spouse over 18, legal guardian over 18, or someone else over 21 in the front passenger seat as long as they have a valid driver's license. People with a learning's permit are not permitted to drive without a parent, a spouse over 18, or a legal guardian over 18 past certain time at night till a certain time in the morning. You can take Driver's Ed, but it only affects insurance rates. To get your driver's license, you have to take a road test. The road test may be on a course designed for road tests or along a pre-determined path on actual roads. You are first tested on the controls (windshield wipers, climate control, headlights, etc). Then you are either directed to start the driving part of the road test or told to parallel park. If you cannot parallel park, then you do not pass your test. (even if you pass the rest with flying colors)

What does she have against the color green? :( Green hate crimes are on the rise!

As a great muppet once said, "it's not easy being green"

"Green is not a creative color"

Someone has a Need for Speed.

As I visualize OP's daughter speeding up, I'm playing the song 'move bitch (get out the way)' in my head.

28, that song just works so well for so many scenarios.

She oughta be a lovely driver on the beltway.

crisanba 18

That's a competitive daughter you got there op.

Yeah, she should get into Nascar.

Drag racing's more like it.

I think bumper cars are more her style.

Your daughter sounds like she has a long, prosperous life ahead of her..

You mean short

cottoncandymango 17

Aw hell no! She can forget about getting her fucking license!

You don't even need a license to fuck.

thejimler 9

That's what is so wrong with this world, maybe not for fucking but they should licence the right to breed.