Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
thesinginguy 18
One of the few times I would ever see spanking as a reasonable punishment.
leaves_me_a_mess 8
The kid sounds like a brat.
Fervens 5
Should've let the authorities have her.
what12345 12
I moderated this! Yay! And smart kid, OP.
Thorzix 23
More like bratty kid. She's not smart, she's manipulative. Pretty different.
what12345 12
Well, the kid's pretty clever. If you can manipulate people at four, you're smart.
1jordan1 11
I really hope you punished her. Kids need to learn more common sense and respect nowadays.
blackonblight 33
Wasn't it proven that "stranger danger" does more harm than good because most child abductions are done by someone the child knows?
Fmlsea 28
not all kidnapps are from people you know. theres alot of criminals, crazy pepple and pedophiles out there.
Fmlsea 28
Sorry but this kid is not smart , she is a brat! she should be punished and told why pulling a stunt like that is bad. Op is lucky that the stranger only tackled him instead of beating op. The kid doesnt deserve a reward for her bad behavior, that just means she thinks she can get away with it and will do it again. besides young kids are gullible if a stranger offers them candy they would take it ! that is why kids need to be taught stranger danger and that it is to only be used when actually happening.
colombiatti 14
This FML sounds kinda bs to me lol
JoLekkaDing 7
Sounds like the kid just needs a damn good hiding. Spoilt brat!!
kevzkar 4
I would have done the same thing. You got yourself a smart girl. Just make sure to not teach her as much next time