Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
Verity101 10
Daaang! But at least people helped?? :D
nickyLA 6
Scary child. Don't mess with her
ohishkabibble 21
Truth be told, OP, "stranger danger" is not the most effective way to teach your child to be safe anyway. A lot of kidnappings and stuff are perpetrated by a person that the victim knows. Just throwing that out there, so maybe you can reconsider your strategy.
1jordan1 11
So? Stranger danger is to teach you not to get rides from strangers or to let them give you candy or something. He's teaching his kids to always have an adult they know present when speaking to strangers. That has nothing to do with the fact that people he knows will probably be more the ones to look out for.
itcomesinthrees 10
I pulled a similar stunt when I was 3 or 4. I'm 28 and my parents still bring it up regularly and give me a hard time about it.
sassy3dcat 1
lmfoa
cassbird09 12
What a little shit.
tehdarkness 21
Well, at least the kid knows that it will work if there is ever a real stranger danger!
yourwifelovesme 25
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for- ok you can stop screaming now"
PengiPou 12
*an ice cream
Saraishi 25
Either she didn't understand you or she was being a brat. If it's the latter you need to make sure she doesn't think she can get away with it, now or ever.