Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
Cherryta 17
At least if there was a real situation, you know that people will step in.
bobpeyron 6
stranger danger is one of the most damaging programs that has ever been used 90% of child abductions are by people the child knows. instead of teaching your children to look for something wrong like neighbor bob has play dates with children by themselves you are teaching them to fear people they don't know because you know everyone you don't know is trying to kill or abduct children. so if there are lost in an area that they are unfamiliar with and can't find a cop they are screwed.
yesnid 2
Strangers are just as dangerous. A few years ago a woman would go to parks and ask them to do the splits and other poses so her pedophile husband could ********** to them later. The key is for kids to learn to watch for odd signs from anyone and how to react to a situation to get away.
chrichards 2
I would never buy her ice cream for the rest of her life.
moondoglou420 17
Take her out and eat an icecream cone in front of her every day for the next month as punishment. She will never do it again.
Blahblah9921 4
oooo i swear if i were u id whoop her ass hard
Blahblah9921 4
next time tell her its either time out or a spanking
FimogenFeels 14
Whoop her ass
egrudy 9
Grounded until 18
egrudy 9
But the only great thing about this story is that there is a person out there who came to a child's aid. I would surely befriend the individual who acted heroically
mattorama 15
Acted heroically? Assaulting a total stranger based on the word of a four year old isn't "acting heroically," it's being a total moron who deserves to be charged and prosecuted.
poopface82 25
I think you're raising a sociopath here. FYL for now but YDI if you don't give her a good ass-beating and a term in military school.
billyisgone 4
Yes poopface, everyone should send their 4 YEAR OLD daughters to military school after she does something like this. Sociopath? Please, she's 4. She can barely keep herself from crapping her pants, I highly doubt she's already at a stage in her life where she can intentionally screw with people's lives. You on the other hand clearly need your head examined thoroughly.