Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
vikky538 29
if she could do that to her dad... just imagine what she could do it to stranger... your daughter is intelligent n she deserves the ice cream...
Girlie7 11
At least she learnt how to use it....
Ezellianna 14
At least you know it works!
hrhlovesrar 8
omg. that is hilarious, probably wasn't at the time though, I'm glad my daughter never thought of that!
sjbartholome 14
Grounded!
The_Khan 12
Sucks that she used it wrongly. BUT I find it good that the environment did the right thing (and not for example ignore it). True she needs to be taught properly the difference between emergency and disappointment, but the part you cannot teach did what they should do (tackle you).
RedPillSucks 33
point out to her that, not only did she NOT get the ice cream, but she also got you hurt AND she's in a spot of trouble herself.
ladybugz23 13
smart kid!!
sweetprettykitty 10
It sounds more like she's a spoiled brat and you should teach her she can't always get what she wants...my kids freak out like that over me saying no and they go into the corner for time out....makes them polite and actually ask next time.
chelseaalise 12
I agree. her tail would have been smacked when we got home!
CrazyMelvin 14
You taught her well