Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
eternalnerd 2
no more ice cream for her. Ever.
communisttaco 16
I'm probably eating ice cream in form of my kids if I become a parent ( I'm 16, so I've got a while left)
Foolys 10
Ppl need to stop with this "talk to her" shit. If my kid pulled something like that, they wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. Pain is a powerful lesson to brats like this.
amadisdemitrius 5
...and that's what is now written on his tombstone.
deedeedeniel 17
Wow that child... She's something
23lf 16
Obviously, she thinks the belt is a stranger too, introduce them
fantasyworld 39
I'd ground the brat.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
What a ******' brat.
niccotaglia 17
what is stranger danger