Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
She screamed, you screamed, they all screamed for icescream.
MattM95 16
Kids will do anything for ice cream.
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Comments (139)
Sp1k3FML 14
Lmao,kids these days are so advanced.
iAlissa 34
Apply cool water to area of burn.
isuckwithnames 22
According to that logic I'm a man in a creepy bugs bunny suit.
RedPillSucks 33
*looks at profile picture* Holy Mother of God!!!!!! Now I'm really afraid to use the public rest rooms.
cryssycakesx3 23
who better than a child himself to know about "kids these days"
Dgarcia2014 13
Guys, what if he has that Justin Bieber disease? The one where he looks like he's 13 even though he's....I don't know how old Beiber is but you get the jist.
liuliuliu 10
Good girl !do u think so?
cryssycakesx3 23
no.
Durantye 8
She essentially got the cops called on her parent cause she didn't get ice cream. No she is very much not a good child.
simsgirlgem 25
Tell her about the boy who cried wolf and what happen to him when he fibbed
DanielleinDC 34
Excellent idea. OP (or the girl's mom) should read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" to her every night until she gets why it's wrong to cause false alarms like this. That girl is a little brat.
Andrewluz 5
Make sure it is the version of the boy who cried wolf, where he gets eaten. Jeez she needs to learn how to be loyal to the one who raises her
Foreverheavyn 7
I would have whooped her. my kids know not to play.
glabberfasted 16
Honestly, the biggest thing I took from this FML was the fact that a total stranger was willing to tackle you to help a young girl. I'm glad there are still people out there like that, because it could have been a real situation where a stranger was doing this.
Dgarcia2014 13
I took that the child was sort of being a brat in a sense. I was raised, if I pulled that shit that'd be the last time I pulled it. Loving family, just would not condone that bull.
sweetbliss3 37
i really hope afterwards you sat her down and explained why doing things like that is not okay especially over ice cream? and i really hope you didnt get her the ice cream. good luck.
brandoneyez1 25
Did she get her ice cream?
cryssycakesx3 23
hope not.
avapaige1234 19
Your kid needs some serious grounding.
Frungy 9
YDI. A 4 yo should NEVER be out of your sight and should not need "stranger danger". You're needlessly scaring your daughter about strangers for no good reason. Totally Karmic.
mikbrooke 25
except by 4 years old, they could have been going to day care, starting kindergarten, so is a valid age to teach them. oh, and accidents happens. kids wander off. you cant always control them. and why not start teaching them at a younger age? what age is acceptable then?
lee126 13
The Op says nothing about being out of sight the kid was just angry at the OP for not getting ice cream and trying to get back at them.
isuckwithnames 22
So I take it your parents had you on a leash.
RedPillSucks 33
Kids play in their front yards all the time in their own neighborhoods or they're at playgrounds or local pools. Sadly, even with hyper-vigilant parents, there's plenty of opportunities for kids to interact with strangers. I've had white and asian kids rush up and hug my legs thinking I was their dad, all because I had the same color jeans on and they didn't bother to look high enough up to see that they didn't know me. Causes some embarrassment in the supermarket. Had I been a pedophile, it would have been easy to quickly walk off before anyone realized what was happening. Your kid is never too young to be aware. Just use an age appropriate explanation.
cryssycakesx3 23
just... wow.
Fmlsea 28
seriously what world are you living in ?? have you not heard of all the stories of crimials taking kids out of there own yards, or prams or schools !!! Kids need to be taught stranger danger because they are young and gullible , and if someone offers them candy they will take it . you cant watch a kid 24/7 that is why they are taught so they know.
krunchy_kitty 8
That's right, they're STORIES. Not true. Stranger abduction of children has not increased even one percent since the 1950s -- that's FBI statistics, folks. The increase is in funny uncles (and other relatives), neighborhood creeps, and deadbeat moms/dads. Don't like FBI stats? Think about your own experience, or your friends'. Anytime a kid you know got touched funny, was it a stranger in a van cruising around just hoping to get lucky, or was somebody you or your friend already knew? For every "Hey kid, want some candy" creeps, there's 20 creepy uncles.
krunchy_kitty 8
Sorry, edit: The vast majority *of those who kidnap kids* are noncustodial moms/dads. The majority of those who touch them funny are creepy uncles (and other relatives) and neighborhood weirdos. In neither case is it total strangers.
Stormcloak 20
117, did you seriously just say, "The FBI has said stranger abduction hasn't raised at all in decades, so you never have to worry about it again." Really?
supersquirel500 10
a good grounding will teach her only to use that in real strangera