Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML
Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML
Today, I so obviously dozed off during a video call at work. Afterwards, my manager messaged me asking if I was OK. I was mortified, and now I'm "on his watch." FML
Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML
Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
His eye isn't really lazy. He's just secretly checking you out with one eye.
PSQ91 6
You're gonna be fired OP
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Comments (74)
FYLDeep 26
This is stupid. Why would you say something like that when you obviously knew that the person you were talking to had a lazy eye?
catatonicsleep 17
Why should he get offended? One of my eyes is slightly out of line with the other and I wouldn't get offended if someone described that actor to me that way.
FYLDeep 26
If no one was offended, then this wouldn't be FML worthy.
catatonicsleep 17
I didn't say he wasn't I said there's no reason he should have been. She in no way linked it to his eye, she was just trying to describe the actor. If she had said "the guy with the lazy eye like yours" then maybe he could have got upset.
Nutz321 0
she said "freaky" and, frankly, lazy eyes can be thought of as freaky, so it's likely she didn't mean JUST the actor's eye is freaky, but all lazy eyes in general.
IrishWildMan 3
Congratulations for ensuring a safe and happy work environment in the future.
eytanrodin 0
Wild Man: Proof your bio within your settings. An intellectual with a high IQ should not have any typos - particularly in his biographical information which includes an IQ score. It opens you up to unnecessary attack This is not a criticism per se, but a friendly suggestion.
Trooth 13
wouldnt you have known that your manager has a lazy eye??
Doortje 30
Lesson learned: NEVER ever talk to your manger.
ghadir 2
at first i thought manger was some type of dog hahaha but then OP said the manger talked so then i assumed it was OPs relative..and then it turns out to be manager..haha learn to spell
CreateZ 0
Learn to capitalize.
cuddlekitty66 0
^Win
ghadir 2
wow its the internet buddy nobody freaking capitalizes
DocBastard 40
Clearly you are correct. No one, and I repeat NO ONE capitalizes on the Internet.
wDeemish 0
it's a spelling mistake people. GET OVER IT !!
cuddlekitty66 0
You don't come here often do you.
CreateZ 0
Apparently not...
soiheardyoufaile 4
I think she got told by her manger to write that...
DocBastard 40
ya i no rite u grammer nazis r teh sux0rz!1!!one
romano07 0
you're a mistake!!!! >=o
CreateZ 0
Your name says "workaholic"... I don't think you will be for very much longer.
substitutes 0
Wait for your boss to fire you at least you cab look for new jobs and he will pay you for the rest of the week
allmidnighteyes 11
Thom Yorke has a lazy eye. Seeing as how he's ******* Thom Yorke, it's probably bionic or something.
myshoe 0
u fcken noob