Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML
Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML
Today, I so obviously dozed off during a video call at work. Afterwards, my manager messaged me asking if I was OK. I was mortified, and now I'm "on his watch." FML
Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML
Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
His eye isn't really lazy. He's just secretly checking you out with one eye.
PSQ91 6
You're gonna be fired OP
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Comments (74)
W4X 0
ufail.
anonnie 0
Lol @ everyone making fun of the "manger" typo. They corrected it already...
sabatical 0
I totally didn't even see it! manger manager tomato tamato, ah well :)
Xavi89 0
u have a lazy eye?
morgann4826 0
pull up yo shirt maate
shasta32 0
watch what u say!
morella_xx 29
Everyone's going to pick on "manger" but no one's going to mention that Forrest Whitaker doesn't actually have a lazy eye? The muscles in his eyelid were damaged but his actual eye is normal.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
oh just cause Forrest Whitaker is black even his eye must be lazy huh? ...white people
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
my first moderated comment! wow. I thought some others were at risk, but that one? really?!?
RebelHeart7 0
hajahah a friend of mine has lazy eyes, it's so weird it looks like his sleeping all the time.
pepelapew 0
can you say never promoted?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
If that's your go-to descriptor, you need to see more movies. The man was a totally convincing Idi Amin, FFS.