Love: Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was...

By biomajor - 07/02/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

agreeclassic 36 317

vote type 1 3 589

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By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

agreeclassic 45 783

vote type 1 3 676

By Anonymous - 22/04/2014 15:26 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

agreeclassic 42 840

vote type 1 3 640

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

agreeclassic 453

vote type 1 295

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

agreeclassic 63 111

vote type 1 6 150

By The Doc - 07/06/2016 22:41

Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML

agreeclassic 15 671

vote type 1 1 401

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 23:08 - United States - Denver

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

agreeclassic 54 802

vote type 1 4 884

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 23:51 - United States

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

agreeclassic 16 689

vote type 1 37 658

By Noname - 23/01/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

agreeclassic 20 167

vote type 1 18 381

Not a good sign

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 21:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

agreeclassic 53 908

vote type 1 5 188

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

agreeclassic 38 045

vote type 1 7 914

csigabajnok 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 14:17

He did YOU a favor, believe me!

volnye 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 22:49

I would have said "I wish I were a DNA helicase so I could unzip your jeans..."

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Soham Patankar 9

Monday 29 April 2019 12:05

maybe you were outta his league

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Today, my parents have decided to ground me if I don’t wake up early. If I wake up early, I get migraines. Not only that, but the migraines always last for exactly as long as the grounding. FML

agreeclassic 912

vote type 1 146

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

agreeclassic 490

vote type 1 186

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

agreeclassic 45 237

vote type 1 4 815

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

agreeclassic 47 337

vote type 1 3 881

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

agreeclassic 8 059

vote type 1 87 098

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

agreeclassic 14 461

vote type 1 945

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