Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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Top comments
Qeynos 0
Sounds like he was ******* with you.
ddrluna 2
Whether or not he's the richest man in the world, it's still disgusting do have dead animal blood fall on you. It could be diseased. Don't tell me you'd be sitting there counting your blessings if something like that happened to you just because you have four walls around you and eat regularly.
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Comments (90)
loto_fml 3
That's beyond gross. And #11, gtfo. Do you expect the man to undress and give the homeless guy his clothes because OH DEAR GOD we should all repent that we have a computer to read FML on?
jessxoxo28 5
ewwwww!!!!!!! well... i guess its his way of surviving. too bad about the suite though
whenpigzfly 0
Oh god, that's disgusting. FYL indeed. I hope you can get that out of the suit! #11, either you're a dirty homeless person or you have no ability to sympathize with a normal man. If you had roadkill juices dripping on you, would you feel sorry for the homeless man and give him your stuff? I highly doubt that. For God's sake, this is an FML. It's funny and gross. Learn to just read it and enjoy it.
x_eyebrows 0
Ahh! Biohazard!!
CherishFlowers 0
I hope he was joking about the roadkill... if not... poor man! That's horrible! Having to pick up roadkill... it makes my heart hurt. :( Oh, and FYL for having animal blood drip on you!
AgentGreenEyes 4
ooo suck and yucky
nazooer 11
i would have punched the useless ****
The_Sadist 13
#11 - Right on Brother A little club soda, or a dry cleaner can easily take the blood out. Did the OP ask the man his story? What if he had worked for the same company only a few years earlier...and was laid off due to hard economic times? Who really has the more F*ed life?
bonobo_fml 0
there would be hobo roadkill after I got through with him. That's effed up
brkn_hearted 0
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *shivers*