Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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Top comments
Qeynos 0
Sounds like he was ******* with you.
ddrluna 2
Whether or not he's the richest man in the world, it's still disgusting do have dead animal blood fall on you. It could be diseased. Don't tell me you'd be sitting there counting your blessings if something like that happened to you just because you have four walls around you and eat regularly.
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Comments (90)
ChelseaAnn08 0
#20-Couldn't have said it better. I REALLY hope he was kidding! I would hightail it to your drycleaners ASAP anyways! Yuck. FYL.
drkwlf 0
What a bunch of retards. Maybe his car broke down? MAYBE his best business suit isn't THAT good of a suit, what about that? Maybe it's just the best for HIM. It doesn't ******* mean he's rich. Maybe, since he's taking the bus, he doesn't have that much ******* money and is upset that his best suit is ruined and he can't really afford another one? ******* jackasses.
latuka 0
get a sense of humor.. he was probably just ******* with you, if it had been roadkill you woulda smelt it before it started dripping.
latuka 0
awe man 37 got to it before i did. sorry for the repetition. and 52 took the words right out of my mouth. good thing he was taking the bus tho.. environmentally friendly right therr. also i know people who eat roadkill and they aren't hobos. come to the south and find hippies living in the woods.
kirei_fml 0
You never know, but he could've been joking with you. All the same, that is GROSS. I hope your suit was black & that you had an opportunity to clean most of it off.
dublk 0
ok FYL for sure, but come on... if u have a decent suit, you shouldnt be taking the bus in the first place. otherwise thats asking for something like that to happen.
fueledbyamy 0
why is everyone so off about him catching the bus? here in sydney, if you work in the city (most likely you'll be wearing good business suits daily) you catch public transport such as a bus or train. parking is terrible in the city, so unless you have a carpark or assigned spot in your building, or want to pay around $20 a day for parking, public transport is so much easier. its cheaper too, in the end.
audd_fml 0
so funny. omgggg. that sucks so bad.
eyesofhappiness 0
Did you not say anything afterwards? I would have. I would've been like ghjawuenhclviauwnvhtianwec. Yep.
yes_yes_yes 0
What overhead compartment? all the public buses i know don't have that....