Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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Top comments
Qeynos 0
Sounds like he was ******* with you.
ddrluna 2
Whether or not he's the richest man in the world, it's still disgusting do have dead animal blood fall on you. It could be diseased. Don't tell me you'd be sitting there counting your blessings if something like that happened to you just because you have four walls around you and eat regularly.
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Comments (90)
Inyourendo 0
God dam Hobos, should have just cleaned him out with an uppercut or something
ElsBells 0
Well, it's better DEAD animal blood, like you said, then to find out there was a live, bleeding animal dripping on you, I guess! =P
AnnaSeptic 0
Ew, I think its more like FHL because he has to eat road kill. Either that or he was ******* with you. I mean, my dad works at a soup kitchen and has a lot of homeless friends and I'm pretty sure none of them eat road kill.
firebrand111 0
Never trust a hobo...
FXCKMYLIFE 0
1. that seems kind of stereotypical, to say that homeless people pick up roadkill 2. if you can afford business suits (which would mean you more than likely have a good job), why are you taking the bus?
xNephilim 19
Ok... Maybe OP used to have a little more money than he does now and still owns a suit from his "richer" times. Maybe he saved up some money to get a nice suit. Maybe his nicest suit is a cheap one from Walmart that doesn't have a broken zipper or missing button like the rest of them. Maybe he lives in a big city and takes the bus because it's easier than driving in his own car. The possibilities are endless, really.
rakhil11 7
oh dear god that is sick!!! ewww i would have showered as soon as i got home and washed the suit 10 cycles straight and then if there was any red left dry cleaners!!! (idk how xpensive this suit was, could have been plain cotton 4 all we know)
whjmsical 0
what are you doing wearing your best business suit on the bus, man?
alex_vik 1
#46 - Suits don't go well with washers.
jmasc6 0
The man is homeless. You can wash your suit. Cry baby... Your life is f*cked.
so_me_fml 0
I want SO badly to scream "FAKE!!!" at this FML, because it makes me want to vomit. If this happened for real, I think it's the worst FML I've ever read.