Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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Top comments
Qeynos 0
Sounds like he was ******* with you.
ddrluna 2
Whether or not he's the richest man in the world, it's still disgusting do have dead animal blood fall on you. It could be diseased. Don't tell me you'd be sitting there counting your blessings if something like that happened to you just because you have four walls around you and eat regularly.
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Comments (90)
SilentGround 0
uhhhhhh dude, i wouldn't have been able to keep my composure in that situation.
steph_kat 1
Ewwwww. That is just plain NASTY.
Ox_Baker 0
Why was the OP wearing his best business suit on a bus in the first place?
bec_fml 0
hhahahah ew. and just because he said his "best business suit" doesnt mean it is overly expensive. i mean he was taking the bus home..
lolajelly 0
WTF GROSS
quantumoftruth 0
its all about helping your fellow man. Should have offered to help him cook and eat it. Can't let that stuff go to waste. What animal was it? should have ****** with him. Open your mouth under the tricking blood, make the whole bus freak out.
zApplegalz 0
i dont get it...wouldnt have the bag reeked of roadkill? thus, you should have noticed the smell and moved away?
RandomFool 5
Sounds like the FML with the hobo and the toenails on a bus. ~.^
adri728 0
shouldn't have asked dude. lol
Jordie210 0
thats gross. i would have thrown up.