Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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Top comments
Qeynos 0
Sounds like he was ******* with you.
ddrluna 2
Whether or not he's the richest man in the world, it's still disgusting do have dead animal blood fall on you. It could be diseased. Don't tell me you'd be sitting there counting your blessings if something like that happened to you just because you have four walls around you and eat regularly.
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Comments (90)
Sam_Van_Dam 0
You can afford business suits while the "dirty homeless man" is picking up roadkill. Yeah, ok buddy. It's YOUR life that is f***ed.
dioxyde420 0
Why are people trashing #11? try being homeless and eating roadkill vs having blood on you even when you can shower.
delude 26
So what, we're supposed to feel guilty for having a place to live and food to eat? I'm sorry I like having my basic requirements met
ddrluna 2
Whether or not he's the richest man in the world, it's still disgusting do have dead animal blood fall on you. It could be diseased. Don't tell me you'd be sitting there counting your blessings if something like that happened to you just because you have four walls around you and eat regularly.
pancakelover 0
I don't think I would have asked him anything... I would have just kept my eyes towards the front of the bus and gotten off at the next stop.
ditlihi 0
I guess live animal blood would have been better.
1073kat 0
DISGUSTING! OHMYGOD. I hope he wasn't being serious..
loveisalie2 0
haha even if he was joking about the roadkill, I bet the thing inside the bag was still gross.
danielleFML 0
oh my god, that's gross. and yeah he might have money, but good lord that's disgusting. even poor people should have the respect not to drip their road kill onto anyone.
glockjaw 0
#11 you're an idiot because obviously you look at the world too black and white. OP that was grounds for whooping his ass. you should have taken the bag off the bus and 'defended yourself' when he came after you.
macs4evr 7
18 is obviously a Republican. "I don't know why the poor are poor but it's obviously their fault and I don't care. there is a huge poverty line in the US, but pets try to cover it up"
JayJ17 7
Lmao 78 so true 18 go suck on McCain you a** whipe.
JayJ17 7
I mean 77
xNephilim 19
Being poor and homeless doesn't give you the right to do all kinds of nasty and illegal things. It's illegal to take a freaking pet rat on the public transportation system, do you really think road kill would be any less illegal? Also, if you're dumb enough (homeless or not) to take road kill onto the bus, then you should at least be responsible enough to put it in a plastic bag an make sure it doesn't leak.
drkwlf 0
#11 you're a dumbfuck.
fueledbyamy 0
#11, how bout you get animal blood dripped onto you and see how you like it?