Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ninjahiga 27
At least you know they have great service there
SixthSinEnvy 39
Unless it's you're dealing with residents at risk for a heart attack or a stroke, meaning every single second counts...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (41)
mrjiggles1992 18
Brown Alert, this is a brown alert. Please do not panic.
Tonsom 18
That's a shitty situation
kewpiesuicide 29
I actually did the exact same thing when I was a little kid. It was still just as embarrassing!
fabulousfiasco 12
Are you Roy from the IT crowd?
bilboswaggins2 10
Nurses are used to seeing people in all sorts of unusual predicaments, don't stress, they probably thought it was just a honest mistake.
amsterdamgirl 20
first of all, delete them.
manuwish 9
sorry but that made me laugh..
freddygasman 18
this is a test of our emergency management system, i repeat this is only a test. please return with another roll of toilet paper and the Sunday comics, and that will conclude the test.
fantasyworld 39
At least the service is fast and they are doing their jobs.
Nerdylady 4
At least you know if someone needs them they'll come fast