Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML
Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML
Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML
Today, I was at a job interview and thought the guy interviewing me was a bit of a perv because he kept staring down at my cleavage. Afterwards, I realised what he was really looking at: the wire in my bra had popped out and had been poking right through my shirt like a dagger. FML
Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML
Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML
Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML
Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML
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Top comments
lilikawaii 6
I hate when that happens! >:| bras are such evil torture devices. Ugh. It's too bad we have to wear them outside the comfort of home, op. :(
ClassyCommando 13
We men, on the other hand, must live in constant fear of the metal-toothed beast known as the Zipper. It has been known to cleave a gentleman's wedding tackle in twain!
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Comments (106)
proud2fly 7
You could always duct tape it.
False_Stupidity 42
Duct tape fixes everything! (and yes I did see the reference to an earlier FML)
ap7diamonds 1
I hate bras. They're like a boobie zoo.
lilikawaii 6
Great simile! :D
lstrawberrycake 12
I think over weight men should wear bras for their moobs so it motivates them to loose weight.
wittygirl 8
Hell ya! Moob bra coming to a Walmart near you soon! April 17th "Look out man boobies were supporting you!"
Michaelsgirl04 9
A bra is for women. Meet...the Bro
JustDerpin 11
^ I think that idea is stupid.
j_cat187 20
#87 Moob bra also comes free with the purchase of a Happy Meal.
cryssycakesx3 23
lol #99, the manziere! I appreciate the reference.
callmesillyxxx 1
Bra's suffocate the girls!!! Such a relief to take them out. Try no under wired bra's those are comfy but could be pricey.
ambamm135 7
Not as supportive if you got big boobs though or else I'd be wearing them all the time. :(
False_Stupidity 42
My large chested (read E cup) fiancée recently started trying a bra that looks like a tank top made of stretchy material, they are marketed under various names but apparently they work and are comfy..
ambamm135 7
What brand and how much? Lol
False_Stupidity 42
I've seen em called genie bra, ahhh bra and I think something else as well that I can't recall, only about $20.
cryssycakesx3 23
sports bra work great for larger chests, you just have to find the right one. I understand they can be a bit of money but with such things you getting what you pay for.
cryssycakesx3 23
also taking out the underwires doesn't really harm the efficiency too much.
Giggles12 1
There is a thing called sewing it haha it's happened to me before
imustbeinsane 2
I read "sue" like an idiot and was about to completely go off on you haha but screw sewing, duct tape is your best friend.
RoseTintMyWorld 8
How do you know it didn't?
L_Lovegood 19
Ouch! It hurt to even read it! D:
flipfloperson 5
How do you know it didn't happen in public? EDIT: 21 beat me to it.
brokenpromisespr 0
Ouch! Didn't it bother u before??
vicky_reoow 1
looks like you got a horny bra. nice one, bra. get in there ;)
irishboii957 2
Easiest and best way for everyone go commando, your boobs get to be free and guys get to see them bounce its a win win
beautyofspeed 0
You do realize what happens to breasts after long term going sans bra. Look at national geographic, one of the African tribe specials.