Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML
Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
So there was not, in fact, a snake in your boot?
lemonypops 10
How messed up do shoelaces have to be to look like a snake?
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Comments (61)
nyagemini23 22
tie your laces hon ?
laden_swallow09 35
If you can mistake your shoelace for a teeny-tiny, itty-bitty, little snake, you have deeper issues than smashed kneecaps.
vampire9545 5
priming effect...its hell
jayne_12 9
A Woody sized snake.
Sudoc 29
Don't feel too bad. I live in a desert area an have a cousin who, if she hears anything even remotely similar to a rattle, will jump up on the highest object she can get to in half a second and screech until we find whatever it was and prove its not a rattler. She does this no matter where we are, including a hospital cafeteria. It took ten minutes to convince the security guards of what she was doing and another ten to figure out what it was. The guards were laughing to hard to help!
creeperdevon 18
There's 3 kinds of people in the world when it comes to snakes on their shoes. 1: Runs away 2: Tries to smash it with the other foot 3: The ones who actually stop to make sure it's a snake and not a shoelace
crandel 11
Does "spending some alone time" mean masturbation in this context?
imyourpoison 10
dumb a$$ ????
brooklynnhaley 4
The real Kira wouldn't make such a mistake
cjfred 13
Any snake that's as thin as a shoelace, even a boot lace, is pretty unlikely to be a threat, don't you think? Next time take a breath, look again, and tie your shoes.