Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
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Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML
Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
So there was not, in fact, a snake in your boot?
lemonypops 10
How messed up do shoelaces have to be to look like a snake?
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Comments (61)
flyingmind_fml 17
who on earth is afraid of a snake whith a shoelace's size ?!!
VeganDarkLight 31
Herpetophobes. Phobias are often irrational.
jadenjacksonm 14
you must have some odd shoelaces for them to looks like snakes when loose
trey600rr 22
must be a city girl
countryrose92 23
I was out in the countryside and I almost stepped on a snake. I squeeled and ran a few feet away... The snake I saw was about 5 feet long and black. It turned out it was a banded water snake and not a cotton mouth so we are good. :)
fmlphoenix 14
you learned a philosophical lesson today - all that you see from eyes are not always true..
ohSNAPyall 27
One tiny snake!
KatieKoala 19
Don't worry, that happens to a lot of people.
baka4815 21
What's wrong with snakes I mean as long as you aren't going out of your way to disturb it or are in the territory of a territorial snake or too close to the babies or something, they generally avoid humans because we are not a food source for them. Sorry I just really love snakes and yes I was afraid of them when I was younger. But then I learned how adorable and cute they can be. Respect them and they'll leave you alone.
Omniprism 15
I use to pick up snakes that big when I was little. But a fear of snakes is valid.
flyerpretender 3
City people!! Sighhhh
gallifreyanqueen 10
My grandmother grew up in the country in New Brunswick, Canada the snakes would be the same as the ones in NS and she's terrified of one's small enough to be a shoelace.