Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the...

By Noname - United States

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

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Miscellaneous

Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

This is us

Intense

By ren - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

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By Unemployed - United States

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

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By sonofaneuroticwench - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

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By aliqi - United States

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

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By tcm123 - United States - Champaign

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

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By Bestfrienduncool - France

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

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By WTFruits - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2020 08:08

Keep schtum

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Last week my coworker, who I sit next to 5 days a week, returned to work after bereavement maternity leave. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

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By rach - United States - Roy

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

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By cheatingapparently - 20/6/2020 23:06

Occam's razor

Today, I got an A+ on a writing assignment. My teacher asked me three times if I really did write this article myself, and didn't memorise an article from the Internet. FML

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By perfectmoment - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

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By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

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By Tim - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

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By :-( - Australia - Rozelle

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

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By bad son - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

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By anon - United States

Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used bandaid in it. FML

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By DreDre - 12/12/2019 03:00

The charity

Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML

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1922

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By hitandrun - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Great Barrington

Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

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By Jeff G. - United States

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

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By sister_woes - United States

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

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28942

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By Today

Boo!

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

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By NotALuckyGuy - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

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By Lincoln - Australia

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

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By Mojo - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

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By Savingforplasticsurgery

Today, at work, I heard a child whisper, "Mom, why do that woman's ears look like that?" The mom replied, "Because she's not smart enough for a good job." I have large plug ears and a degree in mechanical engineering. I waitress because no engineering firm will hire me. FML

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By IHaveTwoOwies

Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML

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2977

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By fmljae

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

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By thermos - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

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By Bailey - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 01:00

Loser

Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML

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By giantsfan2010 - United States

Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML

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By unemployed - El Salvador - San Salvador

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

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By nude - United States

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

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By stuck - Australia

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

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By prinzess - Germany

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

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Top comments

By disadvantage | 0

#29649 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:07

Wtf is boba?

Even without knowing what it is, it sounds pretty hilarious though.

By quesidias | 0

#2556817 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:31

in canada we call it Bubble Tea, a world of magical yummy goodness

COMMENTS

By disadvantage | 0

#29649 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:07

Wtf is boba?

Even without knowing what it is, it sounds pretty hilarious though.

ffmmllyaya | 0

#971635 - Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:17

Chinese tea

yaneliee | 0

#1278479 - Saturday 21 August 2010 4:24

Ironic.

lostforwhatever | 0

#1323026 - Monday 30 August 2010 17:45

No shit, Sherlock

quesidias | 0

#2556817 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:31

in canada we call it Bubble Tea, a world of magical yummy goodness

pu13 | 5

#3145137 - Saturday 20 August 2011 9:16

The bubble tea place in Victoria is the best!!!

omgcookeys | 15

#3675644 - Saturday 3 December 2011 3:01

70, it's not the tea itself, Its the little black "pearls" that they put in it

Smallazn | 3

#3788715 - Monday 26 December 2011 7:28

Aka tapioca

edools | 3

#3965218 - Monday 30 January 2012 7:06

We call it tht in Chicago too

ahti546 | 11

#4559829 - Wednesday 13 June 2012 2:53

Boba's a bounty hunter, silly.

mystical_child | 6

#4925498 - Wednesday 12 September 2012 23:47

#90 OH! Bubble tea!! I love bubble tea (: we call it that in Australia too. ^^

TheKingOfHearts | 19

#6368916 - Sunday 2 August 2015 10:12

Only the best thing in the world!

Geraldinehoney | 11

#6499189 - Saturday 2 January 2016 3:22

Yea I live in Canada too we call it bubble tea lol the pearls are very big sometimes lol u can get small or none at all but u still gotta be careful

By HAHAYOURLIFEISFD | 0

#29651 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:12

Ahhh I love boba!! BTW poster #1 its tapioca balls found at the bottom of a Taiwanese drink. You have to drink it with a large straw or else the balls will be trapped < ha. Thanks for posting this, it cracked me up!!

Therid | 22

#6669473 - Thursday 11 August 2016 15:11

I got it in Japan once. Never knew the name. Thanks!

By amelinat | 0

#29686 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:47

OH! That drink! I love that stuff. MMM red bean flavour. In NZ its called Bubble Milk Tea.

ClumsyyGymnastt | 0

#1320885 - Monday 30 August 2010 8:14

taro flavour is the best ! :)

bmxx | 0

#1359205 - Monday 6 September 2010 8:53

#3 wtf is wrong with ur neck?

heyy89 | 0

#1895175 - Monday 27 December 2011 9:38

thats just hair hanging down over her neck.

Dilexar | 26

#6516433 - Thursday 21 January 2016 19:10

81, that's probably better asked in a PM.

By Ldy_S_FTW | 0

#29695 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:57

HAHAHA, i neva liked the boba balls. I always order Thai Tea Pearl Drink...but then I use the big straw to shoot the bobas out at people. good times =]

3rika_lov3sRugby | 7

#2864044 - Monday 11 July 2011 2:04

hahahaha I've done that too! I like the bobas but shooting them out the straw at other people and cars while my boyfriend drove is much more fun than eating them(: