Miscellaneous: Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the... - FML

By Noname - 13/03/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 579

You deserved it 68 581

Taking stock

There's no helping some people

Crossword anxiety

By sausages - 17/01/2014 20:56 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 8 380

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 22:31 - United States - Malden

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 109

You deserved it 1 347

By Forgotten One - 15/10/2009 11:11 - France

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 838

You deserved it 4 913

Boozehound

By sad fat drunk - 25/05/2020 05:00

Today, I realized that my one and only motivation to lose weight was the fact that it would take less alcohol to get me blitzed if I didn’t weigh as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 426

By Anonymous - 31/01/2010 10:16 - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 728

You deserved it 13 768

Hesitation

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 23:01

Today, I got a great job offer but things are constantly changing at my current position due to COVID. So I was honest and told them I wanted to see what my employer could offer. They took back their offer and gave it to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 603

By Shelby - 19/06/2012 16:38 - United States - Nokomis

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 861

You deserved it 17 256

By janae - 06/08/2018 23:30

Today, I discovered that I am pregnant. I questioned my boyfriend and he admitted to not using a condom because he thought we were just doing "practice sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 1 677

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 155

You deserved it 6 514

Frustration level 100

By chris - 05/05/2020 14:00

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 187

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 626

You deserved it 2 289

By sensativenose - 19/09/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 316

You deserved it 9 721

By -.- - 24/08/2013 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 090

You deserved it 8 053

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 014

You deserved it 3 047

By tinyfeet - 02/03/2016 03:15 - New Zealand

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 404

You deserved it 1 280

By cfaul001 - 29/02/2012 17:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 167

You deserved it 27 646

By John - 02/11/2012 04:13 - United States

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 597

You deserved it 2 233

By Malcolm654 - 29/09/2016 03:20 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 879

You deserved it 1 850

By Dead_Eye - 27/09/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 624

You deserved it 20 994

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 21:57 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 756

You deserved it 4 617

By Betty - 17/03/2010 18:26 - United States

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 9 247

By sandra22 - 22/01/2011 08:49 - France

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 908

You deserved it 8 271

By AmericanAlien - 09/03/2014 02:15 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I've been waiting for a very important document in the mail. It has been two months. I reviewed my application and realized I forgot to put a mailing address down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 883

You deserved it 20 036

By Poopyhead - 08/11/2009 19:14 - Ireland

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 646

You deserved it 15 663

By SeeingGreen - 08/05/2017 02:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my ex popped up as someone I might know as instagram, complete with his workout photos. My fiance is mad at me for showing these to my family, even though the consensus is that my ex looks like a condom stuffed with marbles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 491

You deserved it 1 292

By docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 095

You deserved it 4 974

By birthdayfail - 24/05/2011 07:55

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 064

You deserved it 3 394

By nick - 24/12/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 2 986

By Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 437

You deserved it 717

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 21:34 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Spicy

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 339

You deserved it 4 644

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 950

You deserved it 9 174

By Why - 24/04/2016 18:59 - United States - Marlborough

Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 664

You deserved it 1 985

X Æ A-12

By invalid - 07/06/2021 10:59

Today, while applying for jobs, every single application has been giving me the error message, "Name not valid." Sorry the name my parents gave me isn’t good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 76

FREEDOM

By Idontlikefireworks2 - 07/07/2018 19:00

Today, some idiots set off fireworks close to my house. I was a bit worried, but my uncle assured me it would be fine and left to run an errand. Just minutes later, I looked up to find the tree right next to my wooden balcony engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 221

You deserved it 251

Gratitude walks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Spicy

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 129

Lonely, so lonely

By Gina Marie Lombardi - 31/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 82

By T - 01/10/2010 09:09 - France

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 769

You deserved it 3 722

By stargate25 - 24/07/2015 02:33 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 890

You deserved it 11 572

By AmericanDream - 01/12/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 175

You deserved it 3 811

By Anonymous - 01/12/2015 09:49 - Australia - Corrimal

Today, I couldn't see my car in a crowded car park. I pressed unlock on my keys and saw the lights flash. As I walked over I also saw someone run from my car with an armful of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 656

You deserved it 6 576

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Friday 13 March 2009 12:07

Wtf is boba? Even without knowing what it is, it sounds pretty hilarious though.

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Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:31

in canada we call it Bubble Tea, a world of magical yummy goodness

Comments

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Friday 13 March 2009 12:07

Wtf is boba? Even without knowing what it is, it sounds pretty hilarious though.

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Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:17

Chinese tea

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Saturday 21 August 2010 4:24

Ironic.

lostforwhatever 0

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Monday 30 August 2010 17:45

No shit, Sherlock

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Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:31

in canada we call it Bubble Tea, a world of magical yummy goodness

pu13 5

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Saturday 20 August 2011 9:16

The bubble tea place in Victoria is the best!!!

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Saturday 3 December 2011 3:01

70, it's not the tea itself, Its the little black "pearls" that they put in it

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Monday 26 December 2011 7:28

Aka tapioca

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Monday 30 January 2012 7:06

We call it tht in Chicago too

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Wednesday 13 June 2012 2:53

Boba's a bounty hunter, silly.

mystical_child 6

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Wednesday 12 September 2012 23:47

#90 OH! Bubble tea!! I love bubble tea (: we call it that in Australia too. ^^

TheKingOfHearts 19

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Sunday 2 August 2015 10:12

Only the best thing in the world!

Geraldinehoney 11

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Saturday 2 January 2016 3:22

Yea I live in Canada too we call it bubble tea lol the pearls are very big sometimes lol u can get small or none at all but u still gotta be careful

HAHAYOURLIFEISFD 0

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Friday 13 March 2009 12:12

Ahhh I love boba!! BTW poster #1 its tapioca balls found at the bottom of a Taiwanese drink. You have to drink it with a large straw or else the balls will be trapped < ha. Thanks for posting this, it cracked me up!!

Therid 22

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Thursday 11 August 2016 15:11

I got it in Japan once. Never knew the name. Thanks!

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Friday 13 March 2009 12:47

OH! That drink! I love that stuff. MMM red bean flavour. In NZ its called Bubble Milk Tea.

ClumsyyGymnastt 0

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Monday 30 August 2010 8:14

taro flavour is the best ! :)

bmxx 0

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Monday 6 September 2010 8:53

#3 wtf is wrong with ur neck?

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Monday 27 December 2010 9:38

thats just hair hanging down over her neck.

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Thursday 21 January 2016 19:10

81, that's probably better asked in a PM.

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Friday 13 March 2009 12:57

HAHAHA, i neva liked the boba balls. I always order Thai Tea Pearl Drink...but then I use the big straw to shoot the bobas out at people. good times =]

3rika_lov3sRugby 7

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Monday 11 July 2011 2:04

hahahaha I've done that too! I like the bobas but shooting them out the straw at other people and cars while my boyfriend drove is much more fun than eating them(:

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 21:20

Very mature.

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Friday 13 March 2009 12:59

HAHAHAHHAHHA this kind of stuff sums up my life

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Friday 13 March 2009 13:53

I dont understand this.... :(

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Friday 13 March 2009 14:04

can someone explain what "boba" is

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 6:38

it's tapioca balls at the bottom of sweet tea. it's delicious and should be known a little more.

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Friday 13 March 2009 14:22

tapioca pearl milk tea :]] wow. naice :D

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Friday 13 March 2009 14:38

you gotta be careful when sucking up those balls. if anyone is ever sucking up my balls i make sure their throat is well lubricated

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Tuesday 31 August 2010 5:14

That's mildly concerning.

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Sunday 6 March 2011 18:58

you sound like a dirty old pervert...unless that isn't u in UR profile picture deffinatley change it.

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Friday 13 March 2009 14:47

murphys law my friend http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_tea

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 28

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 146