Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the...

By Noname - 13/3/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

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Miscellaneous

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By asthma_attacker - 14/11/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

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By FayBerry88 - 4/7/2020 08:08

People of Walmart

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

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By Anonymous - 24/6/2018 20:30

Today, I was fired from my job for "lack of work". What that means is that my boss hired his good-for-nothing lazy son, who then got too big of a mortgage, and he had to let me go to pay him a higher salary. FML

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By DebitDebacle - 15/7/2018 19:00

Today, after my bank sent me a new card because the old one had been compromised, I woke up to find that it's already been used to start an Amazon Prime account and order several movies. The card to replace a compromised card has been compromised. FML

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By Matt - 15/10/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

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By 360whoroscoped - 16/1/2015 18:05 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

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By Juiced - 26/9/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/5/2015 20:58 - United Kingdom - Duns

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

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By Username - 10/7/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

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By ameliaruth09 - 22/1/2015 22:36 - United States - Milford

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/9/2015 18:46 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2015 18:33 - Romania - Campina

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

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By waxer150 - 22/3/2015 22:32 - United States - Ashtabula

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/8/2009 15:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/5/2019 00:01

Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML

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By Wick - 26/5/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

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By soccerlove09 - 11/10/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

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By Delicious - 6/12/2009 07:28 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/2/2016 09:59 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend that I wanted to go separate ways. Before I could say anything, he proposed. FML

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By jazzyfizzle - 31/5/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/6/2012 22:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

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By :| - 26/9/2015 04:10 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

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By deserted - 1/9/2010 07:05 - France

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/7/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

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By Phantommajik - 10/5/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was stuck at the airport overnight waiting for my flight for about 5 hours. I then went and looked at the departures board. It said that my flight had already departed. FML

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By heartbroken - 14/7/2012 01:41 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

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By Lily - 2/9/2015 10:09 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

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By water fail - 28/1/2016 11:42 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

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By joyness - 20/12/2012 14:49 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/3/2010 19:31 - United States

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/12/2014 21:52 - Belgium

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

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By Boo - 8/8/2019 08:01 - Australia

Today, I finally had a phone call after a week of nothing. It was my mother. It was an accident. FML

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By SwimmingInFear - 29/5/2012 03:36 - United States - Havertown

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

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By scooter922 - 15/7/2012 07:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 04:04 - Canada - Langley

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

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By Depressedegg - 8/3/2017 18:00

He can run, but he can't hide!

Today, my toddler realised that my pregnancy means I can't move easily anymore. He celebrated his freedom by doing everything he's not allowed to, and staying just outside my reach at all times. He loves his new game, and it looks like he's not going to stop anytime soon. FML

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By CasaDeLoser - 11/3/2015 05:32 - United States - Kent

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

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By - 17/11/2019 18:00

I will always be in her thought

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

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By LynnJ - 6/2/2010 02:18 - Canada

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

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Top comments

By disadvantage | 0

#29649 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:07

Wtf is boba?

Even without knowing what it is, it sounds pretty hilarious though.

By quesidias | 0

#2556817 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:31

in canada we call it Bubble Tea, a world of magical yummy goodness

Comments

By disadvantage | 0

#29649 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:07

Wtf is boba?

Even without knowing what it is, it sounds pretty hilarious though.

ffmmllyaya | 0

#971635 - Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:17

Chinese tea

yaneliee | 0

#1278479 - Saturday 21 August 2010 4:24

Ironic.

lostforwhatever | 0

#1323026 - Monday 30 August 2010 17:45

No shit, Sherlock

quesidias | 0

#2556817 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:31

in canada we call it Bubble Tea, a world of magical yummy goodness

pu13 | 5

#3145137 - Saturday 20 August 2011 9:16

The bubble tea place in Victoria is the best!!!

omgcookeys | 15

#3675644 - Saturday 3 December 2011 3:01

70, it's not the tea itself, Its the little black "pearls" that they put in it

Smallazn | 3

#3788715 - Monday 26 December 2011 7:28

Aka tapioca

edools | 3

#3965218 - Monday 30 January 2012 7:06

We call it tht in Chicago too

ahti546 | 11

#4559829 - Wednesday 13 June 2012 2:53

Boba's a bounty hunter, silly.

mystical_child | 6

#4925498 - Wednesday 12 September 2012 23:47

#90 OH! Bubble tea!! I love bubble tea (: we call it that in Australia too. ^^

TheKingOfHearts | 19

#6368916 - Sunday 2 August 2015 10:12

Only the best thing in the world!

Geraldinehoney | 11

#6499189 - Saturday 2 January 2016 3:22

Yea I live in Canada too we call it bubble tea lol the pearls are very big sometimes lol u can get small or none at all but u still gotta be careful

By HAHAYOURLIFEISFD | 0

#29651 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:12

Ahhh I love boba!! BTW poster #1 its tapioca balls found at the bottom of a Taiwanese drink. You have to drink it with a large straw or else the balls will be trapped < ha. Thanks for posting this, it cracked me up!!

Therid | 22

#6669473 - Thursday 11 August 2016 15:11

I got it in Japan once. Never knew the name. Thanks!

By amelinat | 0

#29686 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:47

OH! That drink! I love that stuff. MMM red bean flavour. In NZ its called Bubble Milk Tea.

ClumsyyGymnastt | 0

#1320885 - Monday 30 August 2010 8:14

taro flavour is the best ! :)

bmxx | 0

#1359205 - Monday 6 September 2010 8:53

#3 wtf is wrong with ur neck?

heyy89 | 0

#1895175 - Monday 27 December 2011 9:38

thats just hair hanging down over her neck.

Dilexar | 26

#6516433 - Thursday 21 January 2016 19:10

81, that's probably better asked in a PM.

By Ldy_S_FTW | 0

#29695 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:57

HAHAHA, i neva liked the boba balls. I always order Thai Tea Pearl Drink...but then I use the big straw to shoot the bobas out at people. good times =]

3rika_lov3sRugby | 7

#2864044 - Monday 11 July 2011 2:04

hahahaha I've done that too! I like the bobas but shooting them out the straw at other people and cars while my boyfriend drove is much more fun than eating them(: