Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
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Top comments
Nightfallz 0
YDI psycho.
evangldbrg 0
YDI for having your girlfriend's mom's number anyway...
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Comments (136)
Crazy_FMLer 0
dkd
Juggababy33 0
i do :O
ak7987 0
he an idiot
tonia_fml 0
how do you mistake your girlfriend's mom as your girlfriend? DUMBASS
paulmayne 0
ydi for thinking you'd get some by saying that
loooooooooool_fml 1
I don't care how much you failed with this, but nobody deserves to be hit by a bat...ever.
YouGotPwnt 0
YDI for being a complete retard. 1) not being able to differentiate between your gf and your mom. 2) for still not noticing you sent it to her mom and actually went according to your text (at least you could have said it was a joke of some sort if you hadn't showed up)
Hyperion_1 0
You're lucky that you were greeted with a bat and not the business end of a shotgun... idiot.
heffy123a123 0
he must be getting some from his girlfriend's mom=^.^=
Bobby64 29
It's funny how many FMLs involve people getting the wrong cell phone number. Seriously, be a little more careful going through your contact list.
molitov 0
I feel bad for your girlfriend... is that really what she is into? stalkers? or is it your fantasy? in that case she will have trouble getting rid of u huh?