Kids: Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with...

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 12:34 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 537

You deserved it 6 882

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Same thing different taste

By smashed - 24/09/2012 14:33 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 6 400

By rs - 30/06/2012 18:36 - Egypt

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 534

You deserved it 25 382

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 16 955

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 960

You deserved it 18 108

Bewitched

By Frozen Delight - 24/02/2019 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 433

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 289

By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 092

You deserved it 16 218

Truthbomb

By antwhite1987 - 08/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 388

You deserved it 1 433

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 213

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 283

You deserved it 2 642

AFCCT 7

Thursday 30 January 2014 18:58

Badass daughter if I say so myself

Welshite 39

Thursday 30 January 2014 18:59

She has the makings of a superhero. You should be proud.

Comments

pike1346 3

Friday 7 February 2014 19:34

Dude I'm literally laughing my ass off. Good stuff

Fotch2013 4

Thursday 13 February 2014 19:53

just pray she uses this on future boyfriends

OctoberJade 12

Tuesday 18 February 2014 9:45

She probably doesn't want any brothers or sisters.

RandomnessIsCool 6

Sunday 27 April 2014 15:03

Can she be my little sister? I promise I'll take good care of her!

RandomnessIsCool 6

Monday 28 April 2014 4:10

#81 My brother watches barbie with us sometimes :D But I'm not a big fan of barbie.

KestrelGirl 15

Thursday 14 August 2014 9:01

OP, your kid is awesome.

moot_chan 18

Monday 8 December 2014 1:06

Comic books are good for kids

FoxHunt9119 19

Tuesday 23 December 2014 5:43

Evil child

Eek74 11

Wednesday 18 February 2015 11:36

YDI. You're showing a movie that in most countries is illegal to show to anybody less than 11 years old, and barely avoided getting an R rating in the US (there was a bunch of fuzz about it). You're showing this to a four year old. Expect four year olds to get excited and do stupid things. (Source: I've got two four year olds.)