Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
Are you ready to ruuuuuumbbbbbble?
Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML
Sike
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
My family
Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML
Heavy sleeper
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Bride of Chucky
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Victim blaming
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
Top comments
MrSarary 26
You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.
LOLouis_fml 24
Sounds like a killer conversation!
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Comments (80)
The_Avatar 22
Now you have to scare the crap out of them so they'll be too terrified to pull anything
skye147 20
... Watch your back! And hey, April fools is coming up. You can get them then..
Carebeareatu 23
Hope you have a lock on your door, OP!
nhaba1214 19
Hahaha good luck with that.
1Personation 11
Kids can be so violent!
winniethebitch 19
showing some love the sibling way
myanichole 22
Aren't little kids just the sweetest
MaT30123 19
The people in these comments seem to have really weird siblings...
nerdsgetmehot 23
When I was in preschool, I tried to give my little brother away to my best friend. Sibling relationships (at least in my experience) tend to be pretty love/hate.
JulayYye_fml 7
It depends of how old they are. If 5 or 6 years old children speak in secret about how to kill you it's cute. But if they are 22 yo tho...