Intimacy: Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus...

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

agreeclassic 60 831

vote type 1 30 083

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By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 10:04 - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

agreeclassic 8 154

vote type 1 1 381

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

agreeclassic 28 558

vote type 1 5 098

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

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By comfylap - 28/05/2010 23:30 - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML

agreeclassic 38 834

vote type 1 6 455

Leech

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 18:04 - Portugal - Sintra

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

agreeclassic 43 058

vote type 1 7 295

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

agreeclassic 32 443

vote type 1 4 890

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

agreeclassic 77 295

vote type 1 5 722

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

agreeclassic 31 582

vote type 1 6 278

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 140

By meteorbabe0101 - 14/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 800 724

vote type 1 65 959

gogokira 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:58

gross bro

mintcar 9

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:59

Wow...how'd you explain that one?

Comments

vterr93 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:22

sounds like a great ice breaker to me :D

lbo4996 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:22

aahhhhhhh groady if I was her I'd wake up and just say quit touchn me with your mm wiener jk that's awesome haha

HeavyMetalViking 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:24

So I heard that you are the famous facestabber.

FERNxEMO 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:25

Ur life sucks.

selena1998_fml 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:26

haha lol

briemarie16 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:28

that's wonderful...

Kloy 1

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:33

Second-hand *******?

audmac 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:37

lol, joke was obviously on her!

skaterdude5994 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:38

you poor bastard. I'm sorry

skaterdude5994 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:38

you poor bastard. I'm sorry

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

agreeclassic 39 624

vote type 1 5 655

Today, after nearly three years of no contact whatsoever, I received a Facebook notification from my father. Eager to see what he said, I pulled it up only to see a game request. He had run out of lives on Candy Crush. FML

agreeclassic 4 324

vote type 1 349

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 34 770

vote type 1 8 356

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

agreeclassic 3 578

vote type 1 5 118

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

agreeclassic 1 021

vote type 1 152

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

agreeclassic 24 668

vote type 1 6 228

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