Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML
Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lovelyliz916 5
Lol, who cares at least you had fun!! :)
justsayfuck 5
Guess you are an exception, posting a FML while seeming happily married. Keep on having fun!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (63)
csimpson1990 4
its okay, me and my friends were kicked out of a walmart for boxing. we slipped on the sample gloves and started going at it. like 10 minutes later, the manager escorted us to the front door to make sure we left.
persephone13 0
It's okay...good for you for still being able to act like a kid sometimes. (At least I hope it's sometimes!) You should, however, fully expect your husband to tell everyone you know the story of how, "my wife got kicked out of Bed Bath and Beyond for starting a pillowfight." :)
MrBigDog2U 0
FML really (and I mean REALLY) needs to add a "So the F what" button for FMLs like this one.
Sniper3000 0
how old r u 2?
elblake 0
this isn't an fml, it's an ftw. who else can say they got kicked out of a bed bath and beyond?
kemando 22
Next time ask the security guard if he can escort you to "Beyond"
altus35 4
this is epic
SquidgieBams 4
That's awesome :)
RageWolf16 31
Everyone wants a marriage like that OP :)
an3ph 20
Pillow fight at B & B. Epic!